My friend, Ed
by FairyxPrincess
Summary: Arnold and Helga have become very close friends over the years... But Helga is harboring a dark secret... Will she be able to let Arnold in before its too late? Rated M, Eventually... Strong adult themes, I guess...
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! I'm back in town finally! So I'll be uploading more stories and stuff now, I know that I haven't updated my last story, but I promise! The chapter is almost done. But I decided to write another fic… This one is a little more…. Deep I guess… please bear with me, it's going to be in first person which will be my first EVER fanfic that I've written in first person… I figured it gives me a more deep connection with the characters for this particular story. Anyway… I really hope you guys enjoy it, and please rate and review! Well… Here goes nothing!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hey Arnold!**

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_**[Chapter 1: My lips are sealed]**_

It was a dark and dreary day in the oh so charming town of Hillwood. The residents of this town could be seen scrambling around, trying desperately to get to their homes and out of the rain…. Probably had loving families to get to, maybe make dinner and have hot chocolate by a warm fire. I never knew such a warm feeling…. School had just gotten out, and due to a long and grueling chat with my algebra teacher, I just so happened to miss my bus… Damning me to walk home… In the rain… "Stupid Bob… Maybe if he'd invest even the smallest dollar into getting me an umbrella this wouldn't be such a big deal" I mumbled bitterly to myself as I walked down the street in the direction of my home. I walked faster as the rain started to pour harder, and the minute I turned a corner I slammed right into another body and fell back into a muddy puddle. "Oh, sorry Helga!" came the most angelic voice, I was in a daze. I looked up to see a boy with an oblong head and I smiled weakly. It was him… The boy of my dreams, the reason that I even breathed, the only motivation for my being. He was the only reason I could even pull myself out of bed every morning, without him, I'd be nothing, without him, I'd surely be dead. "Arnold…" I managed to speak as I grabbed his outstretched hand, he helped me up. I had a mixture of mud and water trickling down my rear and I sighed heavily, my hair becoming wetter and wetter. He held his umbrella over my head as he had so kindly done many times before, and I smiled thankfully. He walked with me in silence.

It had been seven years since our adventures in San Lorenzo, and my beloved had planned on staying in the jungle after I had so humbly returned his parents to him. However, Stella and Miles' time in the jungle were numbered and they decided that they needed to come home and watch their son grow up. They had already missed out on part of his life and it was not something they would allow to happen any further. I was eternally grateful to them for that… They were not going to snatch the love of my life from me any time soon, and he'd be here for me to rely on if I was ever in need. After our fifth grade year, Mr. Simmons had gone off to teach a college class, it was more his calling and we were all happy for him. When I say "we" I mean the whole gang, Arnold, Gerald, Phoebe, Rhonda, Harold, Lila, Curly, Brainy… You get what I mean… Yeah, they were all still around, we all go to the same high school together and are tighter than ever. I would usually sleep over at Phoebe's on the weekends, maybe sometimes during the week too… Any excuse to get away from my family I took. Phoebe and Gerald, well as you already knew are together… Have been since the fifth grade, and I wouldn't doubt that they are destined to get married and live a happy life with a happy family… Something I would never be able to say for myself… And as for Arnold and I… Well… We've become a lot closer; I dropped the "bully" act after I helped Arnold find his parents… He felt some need to repay me, and we had been very close ever since.

"Helga…." I was pulled back down to earth, realizing I was standing on the stoop of my home… If I could even call it that. I looked over at Arnold who seemed distraught "Yes?" I said in a more monotone voice and he sighed softly. "You feeling alright? You've seemed… more sad than usual lately…" he said nervously as he rubbed his arm idly. "I'm fine, football head… just the same ol' same ol' as usual I dread going home…" I said softly, eyeing my front door. He gave me an understanding nod and his kindhearted interior began to kick in and I'm sure he felt obligated…. "Well, would you like to come over for dinner, Helga? You know my mom is always happy to have you" he said with a genuine smile, but I knew he only invited me because he felt sorry for me. I always felt that I was some sort of charity case to him and his family; they only treated me like I was part of the family because they felt like they owed me something…. That wasn't it at all… They never owed me anything; everything I had done was always out of love for the one boy who brightened my darkest day. I hated imposing on them, I hated to become their burden, but I felt safe with them, I felt whole… I had to accept his offer. "Thanks, Arnold… But you don't have to…" I was cut off by his hand covering my mouth. "Helga, I know I don't have to, I want to" he said with a smile and we walked towards the boarding house.

The door to the Sunset Arms boarding house flung open and a worried looking woman yanked me inside "Helga! Look at you, you're soaking wet! And my lord, what happened to your jeans?" Stella's motherly instinct was kicking in. I loved it when that happened, it made me feel… loved… "We are going to go find you something warm to wear this instant" she said taking my hand and pulling me towards her bedroom. I could see Arnold snickering as his mother dragged me off into her bedchamber; I sighed and did as I was told. Although Stella was as sweet as honey, she could be something fierce if you denied her when she put her foot down; I had learned that the hard way. We were standing in front of her closet and she fumbled through her older clothing before pulling out a pair of black jeans and holding them up to me. "These, try them on" she said with a warm smile and I took off my muddied blue jeans, replacing them with her black ones. They fit a little tight, but she was a lot thinner than I was…. At least that's what I thought, even if it wasn't true. I only weighed in at 100 and I stood at 5"7' She smiled at my appearance, nodding in approval. "They look fantastic on you, I love them" she praised, but soon her happy gaze turned to concern as she continued to look me up and down. "You're looking rather thin these days… Are you feeling alright?" she asked and placed her hand on my shoulder. I felt my heart sink and my face go white. My heart started to pound nervously but I faked a smile "Yes, I'm fine, why wouldn't I be fine?" I laughed nervously and rubbed the back of my neck. I could tell she wanted to press the issue, but due to her sweet nature she knew it wasn't her place to pry and she dropped the topic. She smiled warmly and hugged me tight before we walked out of her room and towards the kitchen.

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I swallowed a large lump in my throat as Arnold's gaze turned to me, a rather large grin plastered across his beautiful football face. "You look great, Helga" he said motioning for me to sit next to him, I did. I glanced around the room and sighed deeply to myself. Most of the boarders had moved on and moved out, Mr. Kokoschka and Suzy had gotten divorced, she moved out and he stayed for a while before almost bankrupting the family, they had no choice but to get rid of him. Mr. Huynh and his daughter had moved into a house, and Ernie was the only one really left. He was older now, his hear was starting to grey out and he had retired from his job, but he had a retirement fund saved up and he was well provided for… However, he was comfortable in the boarding house and had adopted Arnold's family as his own. Aside from him, there was a whole new crowd of boarders. That was one of the perks to growing up… People moved on… And I had so desperately hoped that I would be able to hold onto Arnold for as long as possible. His grandmother, who had been showing signs of senility, now had full blown dementia and Alzheimer's disease, it was very sad, and I wouldn't doubt that she was nearing the end of her days… She sat staring off into the distance as Miles tried to feed her, every now and then she would ask who he was "I'm your son, mom now you got to eat" He said as he held a spoon up to her mouth and she took a bite. "Well, that's nice… I've always wanted a son… Who are you?" she asked, he just sighed and kept feeding her. I tried not to stare and just stared down at the food on my own plate. Mashed potatoes, brisket, asparagus, and a wheat roll. I gulped nervously and slid my fork around my plate.

I looked up at Grandpa Phil. He was sitting at the table in a wheelchair… He had suffered from a stroke a couple years back and lost the ability to move the entire left side of his body… He struggled with most tasks such as bathing, and eating, but he got himself by, refusing any help that was offered to him by his children or Arnold. He was such a prideful old man, and I had to admit, I admired his determination even though I knew that he too, was nearing the end of his days. I could see that Arnold as well, could sense the cold breath of death would soon be creeping down the necks of his dear grandparents… It was only a matter of time… But in the meantime, everyone just wanted to enjoy their company while it lasted. They all laughed and chatted as they joyfully shoveled food down their throats, and I just sat in silence, still moving the food around my plate with my fork. I stared down as I mixed the food together in swirls of greens, browns, and whites; I snapped my head up when I heard Miles clear his throat. "You haven't touched your plate, Helga… Are you feeling alright?" he asked. I noticed Arnold and Stella turn to look at each other and then at me, everyone awaiting my reply. "Oh, right… Yes, I'm fine… I guess I'm just thinking about my homework" I lied and spooned a small bit of food into my mouth, forcing a smile as the food slid down my aching throat. Their looks of concern faded into smiles of relief and continued to chat amongst themselves. I slowly consumed every last bit of food on my plate, tempted to lick the white porcelain clean… But I held my temptations back.

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After dinner, I helped Stella clear the table and wash the dishes as the boarders joined each other in the living room after Arnold had put his grandparents to bed. Stella turned to look at me once we were alone "You know, Helga… you can talk to me if you ever need to… I know what it's like to be a struggling teenager…" she said humbly and I just smiled "Thank you Mrs. Shortman… But I really am fine… I'm just stressed out with finals coming up and all…" I lied again… I felt so awful lying to my beloved's parents… But, I couldn't let anyone know what was bugging me… Especially not them… They would never understand… "Well, alright… But my offer always stands… and you can call me Stella" she said with a smile and walked out of the kitchen as Arnold walked in. I swallowed a huge lump in my throat when he flashed me that beautiful half lidded smile, my knees felt weak. "You want to go up to my room and work on that homework?" he asked sweetly, but I had to decline "I would love to, but if I stay out too late, Bob will have a cow" I said sadly. Arnold frowned in disappointment but he understood "Alright, let me get the keys from my dad and I'll drive you home" he said leaving the room. He soon returned with the keys to the Packard and we left the house.

We drove in silence for a while before Arnold turned to me "Helga… If you need to talk about anything at all…" he began to say but I grew impatient with that same sentence over and over again. I didn't want to talk! To him, or to anyone! "Save it, _football head_! I'm fine!" I barked in anger before turning my gaze to the rain tapping on the passenger window. Arnold knew better than to pry, he was happy that we had become such close friends, and I knew that he didn't want to see me shut down as I had done so many times before so he knew to drop the subject when he needed to. He plugged his IPod into the radio and put on "_The sea is a good place to think of the future_" by "_Los Campesinos_!" For some reason he always played that song when I was around and it really bugged me, as much as I loved that band. I cringed as the front man began to sing the opening verse.

_"I grabbed a hold of her wrist_

_And my hand closed from tip to tip;_

_I said you're taking the diet too far,_

_You've got to let it slip,_

_But she's not eating again,_

_She's not eating again,_

_She's not eating again,_

_She's not eating again"_

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I sighed as we pulled up to my house and opened the door to the car. Arnold smiled warmly at me "My dad said I could take the Packard to school tomorrow, do you want a ride in the morning?" I nodded thankfully and smiled in gratitude "Okay, sounds great, see you at seven sharp" he said as I got out of the Packard and walked up to my door. He waited for me to open the door and walk inside before waving and driving off. I sighed deeply to myself; he would make a fantastic lover to any girl lucky enough to have him. It was sad, because I knew deep inside that I would never be that girl… If anything, I was just holding him back… I loved him so much, but I didn't deserve him… I was worthless, I was nothing, and I had no motivation, no goals… If death ever came for me, I would humbly accept him with arms wide open. However, Arnold was the only reason I continued to push, I didn't want to leave him behind… I'd want to be there to help him through anything… He was always there for others, he was always happy, always looking on the bright side, even through the saddest of events. I envied him, I wanted to be him, I wanted him…. Even just thinking about it made me sick…

"And where have you been, little lady?" Big Bob raged as he stomped through the living room and towards me. "I was having dinner at Arnold's house, since Miriam is always too drunk to ever cook in this damned house!" I snarled. "That's no way to talk about your mother, Olga! And besides, you never eat anyway!" he growled, testing me. I was beginning to grow angrier and finally snapped "It's HELGA, DAD! And what do you care where I was anyway! You can't even get my name right!" I yelled in his face. "That's it; I've had it with you! Go to your room, you're grounded!" he yelled right back and I stomped up the stairs to my room. "Already ten steps ahead of you!" I shouted and slammed the door to my room. I was so angry, so hurt, I hated that man with a passion… Why couldn't I have parents like Miles, and Stella? I finally broke down, falling to the floor with tears in my eyes. "What is wrong with you, Helga! Look at you! You're pathetic!" I cried, soon dragging myself to the bathroom across the hall from my room. I shut the door behind me and turned to look at myself in the mirror.

My long, and once voluminous hair, was now just stringy and dingy looking. I lifted up my shirt and stared down at my stomach that seemed to bloat out almost a million feet in front of me, I cried at the sight. 'Look at what a fat, disgusting pig you are… Do you think that Arnold could ever love such a cow? I'm very disappointed in you, Helga…. I thought you had more control than that awful performance you showed at dinner tonight….' A voice inside my head spoke to me "But… they were asking questions…. I had to…" I spoke back to myself. 'There were plenty of excuses…. You know what to do….' The voice called back to me. I sniffled to myself, trying desperately to hold back tears. I stripped naked and tied my stringy blonde hair up into a pony tail. I knelt down beside the shiny white porcelain, sticking my face into the bowl, the smell of toilet water gagging me slightly. I shoved my fingers down my throat, wrenching violently until the food from earlier began to spew out into the crystal water. When it was all out of my stomach I stood up weakly and flushed the toilet, watching the half digested food swirl down the drain. I felt almost high, my endorphins all out of whack, I felt better, happy for a brief moment.

That happiness and relief soon faded the minute I gazed at my naked body in the mirror…. My hip bones protruded out, the only thing covering them was my grayish flesh. I had the chest of a little boy, and my arms were stringy noodles that could barely even lift ten pound weights. My collar bone stuck out, and so did the bones in my chest. My thighs had a large gap between them, and I could almost close my fingers around them. To mostly everyone, they would see a very thin, very sickly looking young woman… but to me…. All I could see was a fat, ugly cow…. I disgusted myself…. And I probably disgusted everyone else too….

I needed to just die already….

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**Wow…. This was really, REALLY hard for me to write…. I hope you guys enjoy and please don't leave me nasty reviews O.O**

**Anyway, this definitely will be more of a sad story… But do not fret! There will be a lot of happy times too! Don't knock it till you try it!**

**Please, rate and review!**

**Lots of love!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hmm, so I wasn't planning on doing Arnold's POV in this story… But after much deliberation, I decided that if I did, it would probably help the story move along much better… This is going to be a really hard story for me to write, so be nice to me! Here is chapter two, hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any Hey Arnold!**

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_**[Chapter 2: Beautiful freak]**_

I arrived at the boarding house after dropping Helga off at her home, I had to admit… I'd been pretty worried about her lately, and I knew for a fact that I wasn't the only one. I remember earlier this week, Phoebe had cornered me in the hallway, asking all these weird questions that I didn't know the answers to. I was surprised that Phoebe of all people didn't know what was going on with our dear friend, if Helga wouldn't even tell Phoebe, then it must have been bad… very bad… I wanted to find out what was going on with her, I cared so much for this girl and I had no idea why…. All I knew was that I needed to protect her from any harm; but Helga needed to be handled in a very delicate manner, or she would explode, or shut down…. She was a like a ticking time bomb, just waiting for the second she could blow. Even Gerald had been asking about her, and everyone knew that Helga wasn't Gerald's favorite person in the world. I guess he held a sort of animosity towards her for the way she treated us as kids… Talk about holding a grudge… But Gerald was mostly talk, and I'm sure he had a sort of caring for Helga… After all, we had all been friends since the fourth grade.

"Hey mom, I'm home" I said as I walked through the living room. My mother was sitting on the couch in her PJ's, reading a book in the lamplight. She looked up at me and gave me a warm smile, I knew she could see the worry in my eyes, she could feel the concern eating at me, and well she was my mom after all. "What's wrong, Arnold?" she asked and patted the seat next to her; I reluctantly sat down, focusing my gaze on the coffee table, I stayed quiet, deep in my thoughts. Mom put her arm around my shoulder and pulled me close, even though I was definitely larger than her, I felt safe in her arms. "Is it Helga?" she asked knowingly, all I could do was nod and she gave a deep sigh. "I'm worried about her too…. But all we can do is be there for her, and encourage her to talk to someone… She'll come around eventually" she said softly and placed her cheek on the top of my head, sliding her fingers through my hair. I looked up at her with worry on my face "I just wish I knew what was wrong with her…. Then maybe I could try and help…." I remembered back on the nights earlier events. Although she did look lovely as usual… She looked sick… Her skin was pasty and gray, her hair was dull, and her eyes lacked that burning fire that I so admired. She had bags under her eyes, as if she hadn't slept in weeks… "Arnold, whatever you do, just let it be known that we are here for her and that we love her" My mom said to me and I froze.

'Love' what was even the meaning of that word? I had no idea…

"I think I'm going to go to bed, mom…" I said awkwardly and kissed my mom on the cheek, and excused myself to my room. I lay in my bed, staring up at the stars through my skylight; sleep would not come to me… It would not will it… The anxiety I was feeling over so many things prevented even the slightest doze… I rolled over on my side, chewing on my lip, thinking about how everyone always told me how great it was that I was always looking on the bright side of things. How positive and happy I was, how even in the most horrible of situations I always kept a calm head… It was true, yes… But what they didn't know was that just like everyone else, I had my demons…. I had my fare share of problems… I just never chose to voice them… I tried to find healthy outlets for my pain; I dealt with my problems on my own, never trying to push them onto others… Because I was the one everyone came to when they needed help… I couldn't possibly show it when I was in pain. Maybe it was pride, or maybe it was fear, I'm not sure to be quite frank. All I knew was that I had always been able to fix other people's problems… But this was something different… I didn't know how to help Helga… I didn't even know what was going on with her! Sure, I noticed that she had gotten thinner, she wasn't eating… But I thought that it was normal for girls to do those strange diet type things to lose weight… But then again, I could be wrong.

It wasn't till almost four a.m. when my over thinked brain finally decided to shut down in exhaustion and I fell into a deep sleep. If it hadn't been for my mom ripping me out of bed in a frantic state, I would have slept right through my phone's alarm. I started coming to, the sound of my mother calling to me becoming more apparent in my ears. She kept saying over and over again how I was going to be late if I didn't hurry, and the sleep soon wore off and I found myself quickly rummaging around my room for all my things, and getting ready for the day ahead of me. Thank god it was Friday. I ran into the kitchen and grabbed a couple bagels with strawberry cream cheese already thinly spread over them and two 8oz cartons of no fat milk. I kissed my grandparents goodbye and grabbed the keys to the Packard and sped off in a hurry down to Helga's house. By the time I arrived there it was already 7:30, I had hoped she hadn't left without me and to my pleasant surprise she was sitting on the stoop of her house with her face in her hands, waiting for me. I smiled meekly at the skinny blonde, her hair tied up into a very loose ponytail. I honked my horn and she snapped her head up, smiling in relief to see me, I hoped she wasn't under the impression I was going to stand her up. I would never do such a thing.

She grabbed her pink bag and walked towards the Packard, my smile turned to a frown upon notice how red and puffy her eyes were. Had she been crying? Should I even attempt to find out? I wasn't scared of her temper anymore, that was something I had gotten over years ago. I think maybe it was after I realized that when it came to me, she was always bark but no bite, she would threaten and threaten all she wanted to pound me… But she never would. It was cute, but confusing all at the same time… She never thought twice about punching the lights out of anyone else, what made me so different? Was it because of the time she had told me she loved me? Nah, it couldn't be…. We were only nine; nine year olds don't know what love is…. I still don't know what love is… However, I always had an itching curiosity about that night…. Even about my own feelings towards Helga… I definitely needed to sort out my feelings, but right now was just not the time… She was hurting in some way and I needed to help her feel better before even bringing up such touchy subjects to her. I stared at her for a long moment, hoping that maybe she would finally break down in tears and tell me everything. She needed to get whatever was leaching onto her off her chest. She needed to get out all that rage and sadness before she could attempt to get better…. And if she needed me to be her personal punching bag, I would be… I would go to the ends of the earth for this suffering girl, and I couldn't even figure out why.

I could tell she saw the look of concern in my eye, I could tell she wanted to cry. But in her own Helga way, the only way she could cope was to… Well, be mean… And I understood that, and whatever felt more natural to her, I was well prepared to deal with… At least I thought anyway. Her sadness turned into a bit of anger and she glared at me "What?" she growled as if daring me to even ask that question. _'Go ahead, Arnold… Ask me, I dare you…_' I could hear her voice in my head, taunting me. I sighed and gave up "Nothing, Helga…." I simply stated and started the engine, the low purr soothing the tension a bit… I drove off.

I glanced over at her now and then; I knew she could feel my gaze wandering her body. I couldn't help my eyes; her image just drew them to her… She was so…. Small, fragile looking, like if I sneezed she would just blow over…. I could crush her body between my fingers… That couldn't be healthy…. Maybe the fact that I never saw her eat was more of a problem than I realized… Then I remembered the bagels and milk I had grabbed. I'd gotten one for me, and one for Helga. I reached down to the center counsel and pulled the paper plate with the bagels on it "Here, Helga, I brought you some breakfast" I said and held it in her direction. The expression on her face turned from void to horror, and her face went pale "I already ate" she said, I could tell she was lying…. She hadn't eaten…. In fact, I'm sure it had been days before she had eaten dinner at my place! It was all starting to come together…. Helga wasn't eating…. She was too thin…. But I had no idea about eating disorders, and stuff like that…. I never knew girls to starve themselves on purpose just to be thin…. But was it even about being skinny? Or was it something deeper? Surely she knew she was skin and bones…. There was almost no fat on her! Any thinner and she would disappear! I couldn't believe that I hadn't caught on sooner…. "Oh, what did you have?" I asked slyly, trying to make it seem that I only asked out of small talk and curiosity and not because I was catching onto her secret. She struggled a bit to come up with a lie "Eggs…..and"

"And?"

"And…oatmeal….um"

"Sounds good, did you have anything else?"

"Toast…. Orange juice…."

I knew she was lying, she was lying so bad and I didn't know what the fuck to do! I was becoming annoyed, but somehow I knew she couldn't help it…. Something inside her was controlling her, and I was going to find out what it was if it killed me. "Im sure a few bites wont hurt you…. My mom made them especially for us" I was going to get her to take at least one bite. "Get off it, _football head_! I'm not hungry!" she was growing impatient with me, but so was I, and I didn't care how angry she got. She needed some kind of food in her. "Come on, Helga! Take a bite!" I said and shoved the bagel in her face, when she slapped it away I swerved onto the other side of the road, almost losing control of the wheel, but I quickly regained. "Good going, _football head_! Way to get us killed!" she yelled in rage. "Just eat the fucking bagel, _Helga_…" I demanded, and she took it from my hand "Fine!" she said and took a bite "Happy?" I nodded in approval. She was about to set it down, but instead devoured the whole thing in a couple of bites and grabbed the carton of milk, chugging it down. I was surprised by her behavior… I perked an eyebrow, looking at her awestruck for a moment. She was like a rabid dog that hadn't eaten in weeks… It was…. Sad to see her like that… I could tell she felt embarrassed and ashamed at her behavior because she quickly turned her gaze out the window and didn't speak another word till we arrived at school. "Thanks for the ride" she said and quickly ran out of the car before I could say anything to her. "Helga…." I murmured as I turned off the car and stepped out.

When I arrived at my locker I noticed Phoebe and Gerald making out in the hall, when they came up for air they noticed me and walked over. They greeted me happily and I flashed a weak smile "Hey man, are you alright?" Gerald asked me, a little concerned at the look on my face. I sighed deeply but gave a small nod "Yeah, I'm okay" I said as I stuffed my backpack into my locker. "Where is Helga? I thought she was getting a ride from you today?" Phoebe inquired quizzically "Well, she did… But she ran out of the car in a hurry and I have no idea where she went…" I said confused, in that moment we turned to see Helga walk out of the girls lavatory. She seemed to be off in another world, she looked weak and her skin looked grayer than earlier, and her eyes were redder and puffier. She walked over to us and leaned up against the lockers. "Hey Pheobs… Tall hair boy" she said as if nothing was wrong. She turned to me "Um…. Sorry about that little performance earlier…" she said nervously and I smiled humbly "Don't be… it was nothing" I replied, my green eyes piercing her blues. "What performance?" Gerald asked confused. We both just shook our heads "Nothing" we seemed to chime in unison. Gerald and Phoebe looked over at each other with an eyebrow raised, I'm sure they were a little upset that we wouldn't tell them of all people what was going on with us. "Walk me to class, Helga?" Phoebe asked with a slight worry in her voice and Helga nodded reluctantly. Phoebe kissed Gerald goodbye and I watched as the two girls disappeared in the hallway. "Mmm, mmm, mmm… That Helga Pataki sure is looking bad these days…." Gerald said and crossed his arms, leaning up against my locker.

"Gerald…. I'm getting kind of worried about her…" I finally forced myself to say. I knew that whatever Helga was going through I wouldn't be able to deal with on my own… If I was going to help her, I would need help for myself…. She needed strong support, and I knew my family and our friends could be just that. "What do you mean?" Gerald asked seriously, his eyebrows furrowed. I sighed "Well… there is something really wrong with her… and she won't tell anyone…. Maybe you can get some information from Phoebe…" I pondered. Gerald nodded in compliance "Alright, man… I'll find out what I can…. But we can't help her if she doesn't want the help…. Just sayin…" Gerald informed me of things I already knew, but I knew he just wanted to help. "I know, Gerald… But we gotta try…."

"Well, you can count me in, my man"

"Thanks…."

"But what about you, Arnold?" Gerald asked me, concern growing in his eyes…. I raised an eyebrow "What do you mean?" I asked genuinely confused. Gerald could always see things in me that I couldn't even see in myself… He knew me better than I knew me, and he was usually the one to inform me of my own feelings before I even felt them. It always ended in my denying his allegations, only to find out at a later time that he was completely right about everything, forcing me to admit that he was right, ending up in a series of 'I told you so's.' There was a silence that washed over us, we just stared at each other waiting for someone to say something and finally he cracked. "Man, you are so dense…." His comment irritated me slightly. "Get on with it, Gerald" I tested, and he shook his head. "Man, you're always so wrapped up in other people's problems that you never deal with your own…. You bottle it all up and pretend it doesn't exist, when in reality your problems are just as bad as everyone else's" Gerald stated, and I had to admit, I had no idea what he was talking about. However, the thing about Gerald was that he would drop me hints as to what was going wrong in my life and lead me to my conclusions on my own, he would never just flat out come out and say it… That was why he was my best friend. "Nothing, man…. How are your grandparents these days?" he asked randomly, causing me to think, was this maybe one of those hints? My grandparents were growing sicker every day, and as much as I denied it…. I knew they were going to pass soon…. I didn't want to deal with this now though! Not while I still had them! I didn't want to think about losing the two old kooks that had raised me my entire life…. I just couldn't think about it… not now….

"They're fine, Gerald… Why do you ask?" I dared him to press on the subject, but he just shook his head and shrugged his shoulder. "No reason… Just asking" he said nonchalantly and walked off as the bell rang, leaving me in my thoughts…The more I thought about it…. The more it started to worry me... What would I do once they finally checked out? I was so used to having them in my life…. I couldn't bear the thought of them…. Aw shit, I'll just say it! I didn't want them to die! Now that it was in my brain, I kept coming up with scenario's in my head… Their funerals… The sadness in my parent's eyes…. My heart shattering into a million pieces… Would I shut down? Would I be able to look on the bright side? Would I be angry? Even just the mere thought of me not being able to predict my own actions of the future scared the daylights out of me…. I had to shake the thoughts from my mind, because I could feel myself starting to panic… I needed to get to class ASAP.

The day dragged on, every Friday was the same… In most of my classes we just watched films, or had a free day, which was always really cool. However, my head was far from easy… My thoughts raced in cycles…. They constantly were jumping back and forth from my predicament with Helga, to the situation with my grandparents… I was growing weary, and I wanted to hide behind a wall and not let anyone in like Helga always did… But I needed to stay strong… I needed to stay strong for her and for myself… If I shut down, then no one would get anywhere…. I needed to organize my thoughts…. Come up with a plan….

Jesus….

How did I possibly get tangled up in all this shit?

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**Alright, the story is finally starting to come together in my mind… I was originally going to focus all the drama around Helga's ED, but I want the other characters to have big parts in this story too…. Have them all dealing with secrets of their own… So I think I'll also be doing a POV for Gerald and Phoebe too. I think I might have a clue as to where I'm going to take this story, fun times a head!**

**Oh, also… On another note… For those who aren't really familiar with EDs… It takes kind of a while before people become as severe as Helga is right now… I started the story already about middle ED for Helga…. So she's already pretty sick… But not so severe that she needs to be hospitalized…. Yet…. I may throw in her recovery soon…. But the thing about EDs is that most young women usually relapse…. Just on a side note...**

**ALSO! I just really have to add this…. For anyone who is reading this story and may be suffering from an ED… Or if you know someone who may be suffering from one…. Really consider getting them help, or getting help for yourself… EDs are a serious mental illness, and just like any other, you NEED help in order to get it under control…. You CAN NOT do it alone! Trust me!**

**Ps. don't judge Arnold too harshly on the way he's trying to deal with Helga…. Because it's not easy when someone you care about is killing themselves slowly… most people who have a loved one suffering from anorexia or bulimia don't know how to handle it, it's very frustrating, and very saddening to know someone is doing this to themselves and not really be able to do anything about it…. So don't freak out if now and then he gets forceful…. Like the instance with the bagel… Just sayin…**

**Anyway, I didn't think this story would get this many reviews already! And such good ones at that! I thought I would be maimed for writing something like this, but no! I'm so happy you guys like this story! Especially because it hits so close to home for me… I really appreciate all the kind words**

**Love, love, love and more love!**

**Rate and review!**

**333333**


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay, so as I said before I WAS going to revolve the story around Helga's ED, but I wanted the other characters to have their bit of glory too…. Show teen angst problems and stuff… Make it real… So I'm going to introduce Phoebe and Gerald's POV. I'm going to do their POV's in the same chapters though, because I think it will be better than tiny little mini chapters… That's just a waste of space…. They are going to have major roles in the story… BUT they are still kinda just subplot type deal….**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hey Arnold!**

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**[Chapter 3: Where is the love?]**

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.::** Phoebe Heyerdahl::.**

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I had done a bit of research in the past few months… Well, okay… a lot of research on what I thought might be going on with Helga, and what I found wasn't very appealing. I had come across an article after googling things like 'massive weight loss in short amounts of time' and 'not eating' and things like that. Which led me to Wikipedia, and after clicking on highlighted words it took me to pages on 'anorexia' which lead to me clicking more in depth, stumbling across an article of a bulimic girl found dead hunched over her toilet. She had died due to neurogenic shock following gastric rupture… she was nineteen and had anorexia and bulimia for five years, she died at 5'1" and 94 pounds when her stomach ripped after eating 5.6 liters of food….

She was in full rigor mortis, which is present from 12-72 hours. The bruises set the time frame at around 8+ hours. Her eyes had clouded, which happens at progressively from about 2-4 hours on.  
When I looked really closely at the picture of her stomach, I could see a greenish tint, which is a typical sign of her internal organs decaying…. called liver mortis. I think this process may have been accelerated as her insides were digested since it normally takes a few days to set in. The bruises called for the autopsy. Because of her position when her stomach exploded, it spilled all its contents into her body cavity. The blood and food settled around her anus and vagina and caused what looked like "fresh bruises." So to rule out sexual assault, they had to autopsy. When they did the autopsy, they found that her stomach had been extended from where your ribs meet each other all the way to her pubic bone, right behind that pad of fat above the genitals 'moons pubis'. And her stomach had a large rip in it...

She also had some other abnormalities going on. Her heart was small and displayed typical characteristics of a starving heart… destroyed muscles and dead immune cells, lipofuscin bodies. Her brain had swelled, my guess due to the massive increase in blood flow after her stomach ruptured… it had started to squeeze out her skull before she died. She also had evidence of focal pneumonia in her lungs… not really surprising as starvation hurts the immune response to viruses… Like a typical binger, her stomach was dying before it ripped… What I mean is that every time we binge our stomachs expand, if they expand far enough, the vessels supplying them blood are crushed… cutting off the blood supply to that area, killing the tissue. That area is weakened and the next binge of that caliber becomes more dangerous. Purging just adds fuel to the fire by increasing stomach pressure above and beyond the natural level.

But believe it or not, the ruptured stomach didn't kill her… A natural reaction did. When the stomach exploded, her body responded with a typical immune reaction. It dilated her blood vessels, her blood pressure dropped, she blacked out, and her heart slowed down and stopped. They also did a tox screen and found nothing... Potassium levels are obviously of no use as when you die potassium leaks out of your cells. Another thing to note about this…. Back in the 1800s, they determined that the stomach should only be able to hold 4 liters of stuff they did this experiment by filling corpses. To surpass this, we have to adapt our stomach sizes, resulting in gastric dilatation. Ruptures via overfilling the stomach appear along the lesser curvature of the stomach, whereas vomiting induced ruptures normally occur along the greater curvature and funds, the top of the stomach. I found it very unusual that her stomach ripped how it did, right down the front. Apart from the intellectual value of the report it does illustrate an important point … the endpoint of these diseases is very ugly… And it disturbed me deeply….

Now, it was not for certain that this is what was wrong with Helga, but it was definitely something to take heed of… In some cases of bulimic girls, they would fast for days only to binge in secret followed by a purge… And although I hardly ever saw Helga eat, when she did eat it was always just a couple bites at most and then she would excuse herself to the lavatory, which was peculiar behavior. I had always brushed it off and thought nothing of it until my mother cornered me in the kitchen one day and mentioned that Helga had lost an excessive amount of weight in a small period of time. This sparked a sort of concerned curiosity in me and that's when I decided to research. I assume that my mother had a sneaking suspicion that Helga had begun restricting… This couldn't be healthy…. And I didn't know for a fact that Helga was suffering from an eating disorder…. The only way I would be able to find out was if I did some detective work….

In another article that I had read, it said that a lot of young women suffering from EDs often kept food journals to keep log of their calorie count. In all the years I had been friends with Helga I always knew her to keep journals. They mostly held poetry and love notes to the boy she had obsessed over since we were three years old, but I had no doubt in my mind that if Helga was in fact suffering from anorexia or bulimia she would definitely be one to keep a journal of it. That was just a Helga thing to do. This was a delicate situation and had to be handled accordingly…. I would need help, and I knew that Arnold was the person to go to, so I had cornered him in the hall. I had been spewing out random information about eating disorders, asking him a whole bunch of questions; I could tell it sparked something in him because after I had mentioned it he had started showing more concern…. And now it had gotten to the point where he wouldn't leave her side, he was always making an excuse to be around her. There was no doubt that they had become extremely close since the jungle, but after telling him of my concerns he took that closeness to a whole new level. It was sweet to know that he cared so much for my bestie… And I had hoped with all my heart that one day they would end up together, live a happy and successful life, pop out a few mini-thems…. Even just thinking about Arnold and Helga having a beautiful life together brought a happy tear to my eye… If only…

Before I even realized, school was already ended. I guessed I was just so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't even pay attention to class… That was odd for me. I found myself walking with Helga to Arnold's car; he had offered to take her home. How cute. I was supposed to go with Gerald after school to a movie… But he said he needed to get home for some reason…. He had been so secretive lately… He was never so secretive with me, but if he needed that space I would give it to him. "Hey Phoebes, you think it would be alright if I crashed at your place tonight?" Helga asked me when we reached Arnold's car. I wanted to allow her to sleep over whenever she wanted… But my home life hadn't been so… glamorous these past few months…. What with all the yelling going on and stuff…. I had to decline her plea with sad eyes "I'm sorry, Helga…. But my parents have been fighting a lot more lately…. And I don't think they want me to have any company for a while…" I said softly and looked down. I could tell that she was upset at my rejection, but something in me said she understood. She just nodded sadly and hugged me before getting into the car with Arnold and they drove off. It wasn't long before my mom drove up in her car, picking me up from the front of the school.

When I got into the car, I noticed that she had been crying… It came as no surprise to me, considering the fights between my parents had gotten worse over these last few weeks… I wanted to ask her if she was alright, but it was a foolish question because I already knew my answer…. She was not alright; if she was alright she wouldn't have been crying…. And I knew my dad was the reason for it… Him…. And his infidelity…. They thought that they had kept his steamy love affair from me, but they were so naïve to think such things… I had known so long before my mom had ever found that letter…. That same letter that I had read many weeks before…. They thought I couldn't hear when they were arguing about it…. But I could…. I heard every word spoken from their mouths late at night… How was this affecting me, you ask? Well, it was something I couldn't bear… Sure I never said a word to them, I was the more suffer in complete silence type… I was upset with my father, yes… But he was still my father and I had no choice but to love him anyway…. Was he a pig for cheating on my mom? Yes… He was complete scum…. But for some reason I still found myself wanting his praise and attention…. I knew they were trying to work through it all, for my sake… And I was thankful for that…. I didn't know how I would be able to handle it if they ever left one another…. They had always been my motivation for love…

When we arrived at home, I greeted my father and headed up to my room only to be stopped halfway up. "Phoebe… I would like you to come back down here… there's something we need to talk about" I heard my father call out sadly. I wrenched in fear and turned to walk back down the stairs… What did they want to tell me? Oh, hell… I'm not a bloody idiot… I knew exactly what they were going to tell me… However, I chose to deny it and try to think positively… Think that they had worked through their issues… That this whole little mishap just brought them that much closer…. But who was I kidding… As much as they tried to hide it, I knew the fighting had only gotten much worse… And I was trying my hardest to prepare myself for what was about to happen….

"Mother, father? What did you wish to speak with me about?" I gulped down a large lump in my throat. My father looked at me sadly, while my mother sat on the couch with her head shoved into her hands, sobbing loudly. I was terrified… It was coming… My knees were getting weaker and weaker, I had to grab onto the desk to hold myself up, and he hadn't even said anything yet! "Well, Phoebe…. Your mother and I are….. Are…." My father began to explain, turning his gaze down to my crying mom. I gulped again "Are what?" I quizzed, frightened.

"Oh, hell… I'll just come out and say it! We're getting a divorce!" my heart sank; it almost fell out of my rear.

"A WHAT!" I cried and lost the strength in my knees, toppling to the ground, my face in my hands. "But you can't! You love each other!" I sobbed; my mother ran over to me and placed her hands on my back, lifting up my chin to meet her gaze. "Phoebe… Please, we tried to work through this…. But your father and I….." she began, turning to look over at him. "Love each other!" I exclaimed and shook my mother. "You can't possibly let some whore come between you two!" I added, covering my mouth at the blurt. They both snapped to look at me, shock filled eyes. "Phoebe… How did you…" My father began but was soon cut off by my mother. "Oh save it!" she screamed at him and turned back to me "Of course your father can let her come between us… He's leaving me for her, Phoebe.. okay?" my mother stood up and ran out of the room. I glared up at my father "How could you!" I cried and turned to run up to my room, slamming the door once I got there.

I was so angry with my father… He was divorcing my mother for another woman! That was the lowest move ever! I hoped he didn't expect me to call her mom! I….was….sick…. I didn't hold any animosity towards my mother for just outright coming out with the affair, I knew she was hurt and she was at the breaking point, it was bound to come out sooner or later…. But my father…. How could he! He was leaving my mother for one of his students! That was sick! I bet she was barely even older than me…. I wanted desperately to call my best friend…. But in her current condition, I didn't really think she would be prepared to handle such news…. And Gerald's phone had been cut off for a while now, every time I asked him why he would change the subject…. I would have to wait to tell him till school… So I called the only other person I knew I could talk to...

_Arnold…._

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**.::Gerald Johansson::.**

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I walked down the street to my new apartment… It was in the ghetto part of Hillwood, no doubt the most dangerous too… Arnold asked me earlier if I needed a ride home, I just made up some lame excuse as to why I didn't…. But truth be told, it was because I didn't really want him finding out about my new… residence…. He would start asking questions, and it was something I really just wanted to forget about, only deal with it when I needed to…. I kicked a rock down an alley way as I neared my apartment door… I sighed, hesitating for a moment… I didn't want to go inside….

I started thinking back on the day when my dad just upped and left us… He didn't give a reason… He said he was just going to the grocery store… and he never came back… Of course we took all the right steps into figuring out my dad's mysterious disappearance, only to realize later that nothing bad had happened to him…. He just didn't want to be found…. Why he would just pick up and leave like that was beyond me… Maybe my mother knew and was keeping it a secret, but I knew she was suffering just as much, so we tried not to talk about it…. So now we live in a rundown apartment in the slums of town…. Just me… Timberly, my mother and… Rick…. My mom's boyfriend… My dad had left us with no money, and we had lost the house, we were completely in debt when Rick the superman showed up and gave us all these promises on how he would get us back on our feet. My mother, not being able to support us on her own on her corner store salary jumped at the offer… We soon realized that he was full of shit, but now we were stuck with him…

Mom lost her job due to cutbacks, and we were now being supported by this giant hunk of testosterone, alcoholic worthless excuse of a man… I hated him with a passion…. He was pretty cool at first, but soon the drunken rages surfaced, and after he struck Timberly for spilling coke on the carpet I lost my temper… We've had a few brawls here and there, and on some occasions I'd show up to school with a big black eye. Naturally, the gang worried and asked questions, but I always had some excuse as to why I developed the marks. I don't really know why I never told my friends… I guess I supposed that my problems were nothing they needed to worry about, they all had their own burdens to bear, and I didn't want to be one of them…. However, sometimes I found myself wishing they would show me even the slightest bit of concern, like they showed for Helga…. But I guess that was my fault for never speaking up…. It was funny because they all thought I still lived in the same house…. They thought we were all still one big happy family, but boy were they wrong…. I knew that Phoebe sometimes suspected that things were not right, but due to her good hearted nature, she never pried… She gave me the space I needed, when I needed it…. I was grateful for it, but sometimes I wished that for once, someone would try and pry…. That they would try and find out what was bugging me, instead of just leaving me be….

I opened the door to my apartment and walked inside, Rick wasn't home…. Thank god, but I saw my mother sitting in the living room, holding Timberly in her arms… My little sister was crying, and I already knew why. "What happened?" I demanded, running over to them "Rick hit me! Again!" Timberly cried in a mixture of anger and sadness. She was still so young, only eleven now…. Barely entering into her pre-teen years…. She didn't need to be subjected to this shit! And my mother needed to see that! I looked over at my mom who knew this was not good "Mom…. You need to get rid of that ass!" I scolded, she just held Timberly closer and silently sobbed. She knew I was right, but she also knew that we had no money… No place to go… But that was stupid… She knew that if anything, we could always stay with Arnold and his parents… They would never turn us away…. But it was something deeper than just a matter of money…. I knew my mother cared for this man, or at least she wanted someone to love her as she loved my father…. She must have felt the need for affection, she was being controlled and even the young lives of her children didn't seem to worry her enough for her to let that go…. It was pathetic… And yet, my heart ached for her….

I let out a long sigh and sat down next to my little sister, holding my arms out for her to meekly crawl into them. I managed to see the black bruise on her face, and it ripped my heart out…. "I wish daddy was here!" she cried, holding me tight, frightened. I looked over to my mom who had her hand over her head; she refused to look at us… I knew she was disappointed in herself and felt like a failure as a mother. A once strong and prideful woman was now broken and dependant…. I stroked Timberly's hair softly and held her tight when the door flung open and a large black man stood in the doorway. I growled lowly to myself and held onto my sister tighter, feeling her begin to tremble. She was scared, and to be truthfully honest, so was I… But I had to be strong for the both of them…. And it was in times like these that I wished Jamie-O had stayed with us… But he had a basketball scholarship and didn't want to pass up that great opportunity. He had left shortly after my father…

I let go of Timberly and stood up, my fists balled up tightly and I walked right up to Rick. "Yo, man… Hitting my little sister is NOT cool" I tested the already drunk man. My guess was he had left to go get some more booze and he was back now. He slurred at me angrily and raised his fist up high as if to strike me, but instead tumbled drunkenly over to the couch, blacking out. I was relieved that he hadn't started a fight; I had always been able to hold my own when it came to him, but he was huge and I usually lost…. I walked over to my mom and sister and yanked them both off the couch. "We are getting out of here…. Now" I demanded "And if you don't want to come, that's your deal… But I'm taking Timberly over to Arnold's…. And if you try to stop me, I'll go to the police and have your precious Rick arrested" I dared her to try and say no, but surprisingly she agreed. She walked over to the sleeping man and grabbed his car keys from his pocket "Maybe we should call them first, Gerald… We can't just barge in on them like that…." She said to me but I shook my head "No, we need to get out before he wakes up… Arnold's family will understand…." I said and took her hand, leading them out the door.

We drove out of the slums of town and in the direction of Arnold's house… I knew he wasn't going to be happy about the fact I had kept this secret from him for so long… But my family needed help… and I knew he would be the one to do so…. With no questions asked….. I really did hate to burden his family like this…. What with his grandparents sick and all…. But I needed to get them out, and if anything we could just crash in one of the extra rooms for a while, and I could get a job to try and support my family…. It would only be temporary…..

_Arnold, my man…. I'm so sorry…._

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**Woah… Poor Arnold everyone is just piling all their problems onto him! I wonder if he will break soon…. Well, we will find out.**

**Sorry if this chapter seems a bit messy, but it's all coming together, I promise! and its also really late at night and I'm super tired!**

**Please rate and review!**

**With more love!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys, I really appreciate all the great reviews I'm getting on this story. Every review I get just makes me want to update another chapter that much more. And since I can't work right now and unfortunately taking a break from school, it gives me a whole bunch of time for updates Anyway, here's another chapter to my friend, Ed! Enjoy!**

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_**[Chapter 4: The Sea is a good place to think of the future…]**_

The first thing I did once Arnold dropped me off at home was run into the kitchen… I threw my bag on the counter and opened up the pantry, devouring a whole box of cereal in just a few moments in a blinded hunger. What could I eat next? There was never any food in this damn house! I opened up the fridge and gulped down almost a full liter of diet coke before opening up a container full of spaghetti… Mmmm, pasta…. I stood at the open fridge, spooning the spaghetti into my mouth with my fingers; I hadn't even heated it up… I just needed to wolf it down. About mid binge I realized what I was doing and dropped the container onto the ground, the contents spilling out of the bowl. I quickly rushed to the nearest bathroom and hunched over the toilet, shoving my fingers down my throat to induce vomiting. When I had gotten everything out, I tumbled over weakly, breathing heavily and crying. I had vomit and spaghetti all over my hands and mouth, I felt disgusting… Thinking two years back to the time when this had all started…..

_It was just after my fifteenth birthday, Olga had moved back in with us after her divorce with the current beau… My hatred for Olga had faded after I turned eleven, we had become closer but some of the things she did still annoyed me. However, I enjoyed having her at home because of all the delicious food she was always making… I had to admit, eating all her cooking had caused me to gain a few pounds which never really bothered me until one night at dinner… "You're getting a little chunky there, baby sister" Olga chimed in that annoying high pitched song-voice she often did. I knew she didn't mean it the way it came out, but it really bugged me…. I was always obsessed with food, always eating candy and drinking soda…. I would always eat at least three Mr. Fudgy bars in a day, but hey…. I was a growing girl, right? I was still slender… right?_

_That night after dinner, I stood in front of my bathroom mirror staring at my reflection. I was tall and thin, but Olga's earlier words still lingered in the back of my mind… I only needed to lose a few pounds… And soon, the voice in my head that I would soon come to know very well began to talk… 'She's right, Helga… you have gotten rather fat… Do you think Arnold would ever fall in love with a cow?' I supposed diet and exercise could always help, but for some reason part of me wasn't having that…. 'I can show you…. I can show you how to get rid of it…' the voice called to me, and in that moment I knew… I could eat whatever I wanted and never gain a single pound…. I turned to look at the toilet… The shiny white porcelain calling my name. I could purge, I could lose the weight that I wanted, and then I could stop and just eat healthy for the rest of my life…. But I was wrong… I was so wrong… Eventually the binge/purge cycle began to grow more and more out of my control… I had lost the weight that I wanted and more, but I still couldn't stop… The eating disorder wouldn't let me stop…. It consumed me, it controlled me… I was a puppet, and I couldn't even see that I had a problem… And that's why I am the way I am today… All because of a silly little comment from someone who cares about me… Of course other things play into it. The stresses of school, the way Big Bob treats me, my mom's alcoholism… People think that stuff didn't affect me, but it did… It affected me so badly that I soon began to feel that the only thing I could control was my weight, or the food that graced my lips… It became a way for me to cope with my hectic life…. I wanted to be perfect… I wanted Arnold to love me…_

After my gruesome binge and purge outburst I washed myself up and cleaned the spaghetti off of the floor, throwing the rest of it away. I put my things in my room and headed to my bathroom, stripping down and stepping into the shower. I lathered up some shampoo into my hair, followed by conditioner and as I began to wash it out I noticed how much hair I was losing. It was falling out in clumps… This was starting to freak me out. I turned off the shower and wrapped a towel around myself, trying to force back tears as I walked to my room. While getting dressed I could hear the front door open, must be Bob home from work… Great, he was not someone I needed to deal with right now. "Olga! Get down here!" he called to me, and I grimaced… I picked out a black tank-top and a pair of low-rise skinny jeans and threw my thinning hair up into a ponytail. "What do you want, Bob" I growled as I walked into the kitchen where he was standing. "Make dinner, Olga I'm starving" He demanded as he rummaged through the fridge. "Where the hell is Miriam? Last I checked she was your wife… Not me" I snarled as I turned to walk out of the kitchen "She's off with her friends or whatever at the bar…. Yeah right"  
he grumbled. I ignored him and walked back up to my room… I just knew that he was going to be demanding things from me all night, and I didn't want to deal with it…. I sighed softly and grabbed my android off the nightstand…. I wondered what my angelic little football headed love god was up to… Maybe he could take my mind of things…

"Hey, Helga" I heard as he picked up the other line. My heart melted.

"Hey, Arnold-o… Was wondering if you had plans tonight…."

"No plans… Just helping my parents with grandma and grandpa…." He sounded a bit down

"Well… Want some company?" I asked, maybe I could lift his spirits

"Yeah, sounds great Helga, need a ride?"

"Nah, I'll walk… see you soon"

I hung up the phone and put on my favorite pair of converse and a baggy black hoodie, sneaking out of my house as quietly as I could as to not have Bob hear me. I didn't mind the walk; I needed the exercise anyway… God, I was such a fat piece of shit…

I arrived at Arnold's just as a light rain started to fall, he opened the door a bit concerned "Did you walk all this way in the rain?" I shook my head and gave him a weak smile; I was unusually out of breath. "Nah, it just started" I said exhausted, walking into the boarding house. "You don't look so great, Helga…." Arnold stated, and when I turned around to face him I collapsed right into his arms in a daze. Could be the hunger setting in, could be cause of the purging… I didn't know what it was, but it was not good… He was worried and saying things to me but I couldn't understand I was in a haze of dizziness and the next thing I knew Arnold had me hoisted into his arms and he was carrying me up to his room. The muscles in his arms were clenched around me, and from what I could feel… It was amazing. I was on his bed now, but before I could start swooning over that fact, everything went black…

I don't know if I had fallen asleep, or passed out from malnourishment but it seemed I had been out for a while; because when I finally came to, I noticed Phoebe sitting on the remote controlled couch, crying into Arnold's chest. A small surge of jealousy and confusion waved over me for a brief moment but I realized something was horribly wrong and my anxiety level sky rocketed. "Phoebe's? What are you doing here?" I managed to mumble as I sat up, still feeling a little groggy. When she heard my voice, her beautiful little Asian face perked up and she ran over to me, throwing her arms around my neck and crying into me. I slid my hands up her back and wrapped them weakly around her, stroking her long raven hair softly. I looked over to Arnold who seemed distraught; he didn't say a word, only watched with his beautiful emerald eyes glossy and sweet. "Phoebe….?" I finally whimpered in her ear and she pulled away, looking me dead in the eye. Her black eyes were puffy and red, she had bags under them which was a sign that she had been crying for… a while… "Phoebe? Are you alright?" I choked, trying to hold back tears. I never saw her this way, and I hated witnessing it, but I knew she needed me… She was always there for me, so now it was my turn. She stared at the yellow and orange carpet, refusing to meet my eyes, silently, trying to find words for me. I knew she didn't like telling me about her problems because the world always revolved around mine…. And it was in that moment that I realized how selfish I had been… I felt awful… Poor Phoebe… Had she been suffering all this time and just never told me?

Arnold stood up and excused himself from the room when the sound of his doorbell could be heard. Saved by the bell… I knew Phoebe would want a few minutes alone with me to explain what was going on in her life…. She never was one to discuss problems in front of an audience. "I wanted to tell you, Helga…." She snorted, tears pouring from her eyes. "Tell me what?" I urged, I couldn't possibly try and help to solve her problem if she wasn't willing to tell me what it was. She struggled with her words, wiping her tears and snot from her face with the back of her hand. I stood up and grabbed a box of tissues from Arnold's computer desk, hopefully giving her a moment to find herself. "Thanks…" she said softly when I offered the box to her. "When you're ready, Phoebs…" I whispered, sitting back down and sliding my arm around her shoulder, I pulled her into me. "My….Parents….." she coughed, I could see that she was feeling sick even just thinking about it. Oh how I knew that feeling all too well…. "Go on, Phoebes… You can do it…" I pushed lovingly and finally she blurted out loudly "They're getting divorced! Oh, I wanted to tell you so badly, Helga! But you were dealing with your own burdens, you have your own problems, I couldn't possibly lay all mine on you too! But they've been fighting so much, and my dad cheated on my mom… And I just feel so wretched!" I blinked a few times, awestruck by the information she just bestowed upon me. I felt horrible for her! She must have been feeling so nasty…. Her parents had always been the very picture of perfection and love… Never in a million years would I have ever pegged them to get divorced…. Or even remotely considered her father to be a cheater…. "Phoebe…. I am so sorry….. If you need anything at all…." I began but she cut me off "Just leave it… there is nothing anyone could possibly do" she said bitterly. Her comment didn't anger me, but instead saddened me…. Going through her parents' divorce, no doubt do a number on her love life…. Would she even stay with Gerald? I needed to stop thinking about that…. They were the cutest couple in school… They would never break up…. Right?

I didn't know what to say to make her feel better… All I could do was hold her, and stroke her hair… Let her cry it all out…. It was such a healthy way to cope… Crying… We sat in silence for a few moments before I heard a knock on the door. Must be Arnold coming to see how we were doing, but upon my surprise, Gerald was standing at his side… What the hell was going on? Was this an intervention? Phoebe looked up, surprised to see her boyfriend standing in the doorway, a look of concern on his face. "Gerald…. What are you doing here?" She cried, trying to wipe her tears before he noticed. He walked over to her and sat down on the bed when I got up to stand next to Arnold who also looked very concerned. "Um… What's going on?" I whispered in his ear, he turned to me sadly "I think we should give them some time alone…." He muttered in my ear softly and led me down the stairs. We arrived in the kitchen and I was boggled when I saw Mrs. Johansson sitting at the dinner table with a sleeping Timberly in her arms…. She was speaking with Stella about their current situation… and was… That a black eye I saw on Timberly? I was so confused, everyone was suffering, and I didn't even see it! I had been so wrapped up in my own stupid shit that I couldn't see that everyone else around me was hurting… "Oh, Stella… I didn't know you had company… Maybe we should go…." Mrs. Johansson was about to stand up, she was sniffling, and I could see tears in her eyes. "No, no! It's okay, maybe I should go home…" I waved my arms in front of me and she sat back down. "And with all due respect, but where would you go?" Stella asked with care as she placed her hand on Mrs. Johansson's shoulder, she silently cried into her tissue. "You will always have a home here; you can stay as long as you need to… We have extra rooms…" Stella said to a very grateful Mrs. Johansson. Stella soon turned to me "And Helga… You are more than welcome to stay the night here with your little friend Phoebe too…." Stella offered.

"Is there somewhere we can talk?" I whispered over to Arnold and he nodded, pulling me outside. We climbed up the fire escape and took seats in some beanbag chairs he had sitting up on the roof. We were under a tarp to shield us from the rain. "What is going on? Why does Timberly have a black eye?" I asked worriedly… Arnold sighed, concentrating on the rain, he finally spoke… His voice was low and angry "Gerald's step dad hit her…. I didn't even know his dad left!" He was angry! I had never seen him so furious. "What do you mean he….Left…?" I placed my hand on his shoulder and he looked over at me. "Apparently Gerald's dad left them some time ago and his mom got a new boyfriend… they've been living in some run-down piece of shit building and his moms boyfriend beats them up! He never told me! No wonder he stopped letting me come over to his house! How could he keep such a thing from me?" Woah… He was really upset… "Maybe he thought we would judge him…. Maybe he thought we have our own problems to worry about…. Maybe he didn't want to inconvenience any of us…." I began to speak softly. I could tell Arnold understood, because he just looked at me with those pleading eyes, almost as if he was trying to ask me something. "We just have to make sure he knows that we are here for him… and Phoebe too…" I added and sat back, looking out into the rain. It was so calming, it smelled so fresh. "Helga….." Arnold muttered softly, leaning over in my direction "Yes, Arnold?" I felt hot, my flesh was red, I loved the way he said my name in that low raspy growl. It did something to me… "That's the nicest thing I've ever heard you say about anyone…" He said softly and pulled his face away from mine. We both kind of just chuckled and then sat in silence before we decided to go join Phoebe and Gerald.

We all sat in a circle on Arnolds floor, talking about everything that was on our chest, well at least Phoebe and Gerald were. I was still not ready to talk about what was bothering me, and for some reason I thought that Arnold still didn't even understand what he was feeling. So he and I tried our hardest to help out our best friends with their current predicaments, and I had agreed to stay the weekend along with Phoebe. We talked for hours, and once or twice, Stella came up to check on us. She informed us that Gerald and his family was going to be staying with them till Mrs. Johansson could get back on her feet again and that Gerald would have his very own room and that it was ready whenever he decided to turn in. Phoebe and I were offered to stay in Arnold's room while Arnold and Gerald would sleep in Gerald's room. It sounded like a good plan, but when Gerald started to grow tired from the evening's festivities, Phoebe asked permission to stay with him and Arnold agreed. Feeling that maybe they needed to be together to sort some things out. Arnold and I stayed up, chatting about random things, trying to lighten our moods but it was getting late.

"Well, you can take the bed… I'll take the couch" Arnold said sweetly as he grabbed a few blankets from a chest on his floor. I got into his bed, snuggling under the covers "Actually, Football head…." I choked nervously "What's up, Helga?" he asked, dumping the blankets onto the couch. I could feel my cheeks burning bright red for what I was about to ask may seem strange. Instead of voicing what I wanted to say I just lifted up the blanket and tapped the spot beside me. "There's room for one more….." I said very nervously. What with all the excitement going on, I felt that maybe having him sleep next to me I would feel much better. I looked away nervously as I noticed a blush tint his cheeks "Um…. Sure, Helga…" he muttered softly and turned out the light, climbing into the bed next to me. Thank god he didn't reject me, or I may have just killed myself right then and there. I took a chance and snuggled up next to him, surprisingly he put his arm under my head and I used it as a pillow. His muscles were so hard, so sculpted. He must have worked out regularly. I was in heaven. He turned to face me and took a deep breath "Can I ask you a question?" he forced and I just let out a soft "Mmm, Hmm" and he hesitated. "What was up with you passing out today….? Are you feeling alright?" I knew he would ask, and I had all night to come up with a lie. "Yeah, I guess I was just worn out from all the exercising I've been doing this week and the exhaustion must have caught up to me" He knew I was lying, I could sense it but he was too nice to call me out on it so he just took the answer that I gave him with a spoon full of sugar. He pulled me close and leaned his head against my hair, his breathing was deep and soothing, and it took all of my strength not to just pounce on him. What the hell was wrong with me? I nuzzled my nose into his neck and took in a deep breath, his scent was so intoxicating. It could be a whole new form of drug 'Arnold's smell' I chuckled at the thought. "Hey, Arnold?" I whispered, I could tell he was dozing off to sleep because all I heard from him was a soft "Hmm?" I smiled and slid my arm around his waist. "Thank you for being here for us…." I whispered in his ear. "My pleasure, Helga…." He spoke tiredly and that was all I remember before falling into a deep sleep of my own…

I wish this moment would never end….

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**Alright, sorry it took me a little while to update…. I wasn't going to write this chapter today because it's the anniversary of my brother's death and I kind of just wanted to lie around and mope all day…. But I didn't want to keep you all waiting so I decided to update. So, sorry if it's a little messy and thrown around. I was having a bit of writers block… You understand**

**Oh, also… I keep throwing the title of this really amazing song into my story, so I think you should all go listen to it! It's called "The Sea is a good place to think of the future" By "Los Campesinos!" Go listen! Now!**

**Please, rate and review! It's much appreciated!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Alright, here is another chapter! I must have written this one at least a million times, so I hope you enjoy! Phoebe and Gerald's point of view may or may not be posted so soon. I'm kinda liking where things are going right now, so don't get mad if I update their POV's at a later time! This is where it starts getting juicy… I'm just trying to figure out how to tie all my ideas for this story together. So far I think I'm doing okay. Alright, here is chapter 5!**

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_**[Chapter 5: My manic and I….]**_

I awoke this dreary morning to the sound of heavy rain tapping on my skylight. I turned to face a sleeping girl lying peacefully beside me. She looked so frail and brittle; if I wanted to I could crush her bones beneath my fingers with ease… Her breathing was so deep, so slow. I lay there in silence, watching her dream, hoping that maybe she was off in a world with no pain. I gently brushed a strand of yellow hair out of her face and behind her ear. And then I heard it…. She whimpered my name softly "_Ar….Arnold_…." rolled off her tongue sadly. Was she dreaming about me? Something deep inside hoped that she was, and then I heard it again "_Ar….nold_…." it came out softer… sadder… I felt my cheeks begin to burn a bright red and a voice in my head told me to hold her close, so I did. I buried my face into her golden locks, breathing in her scent deeply. Her hair smelled of cherry almond, my favorite smell. And for some odd reason, I couldn't help but to think how this young woman meant the world to me.

A wave of nostalgia rolled over me as I began to think of our childhood, of all those dumb little nicknames I had grown to love. _'Football head, Arnold-o_,' I chuckled lightly to myself at the thought and held her tighter once more. Never in a million years would I have imagined Helga and me to become so close to each other. Somehow I wished we had come to be such good friends under better circumstances. Either way, I was so thankful to still be in this girl's life, and I hoped it would last for a very long time. I didn't want this moment to end. This moment of peace… I was happy that she was in my arms, and I wouldn't trade this for anything in the world. Sure, our childhood had been a bit rocky…. Okay…. _A lot_ rocky…. She had ridiculed me all the way up into our seventh grade year. Although she had lightened up a lot since we came back from the jungle. I remembered back to the time when we were standing up on the roof of the **FTi** building… Seemed so long ago… Thinking about how she had been our secret helper all along. It confused me greatly to find out it had been her the whole time. Why would someone who hated me so much risk her own neck trying to help me? That's when she said it… She helped me, because she loved me…. Those were some pretty deep words for a nine year old. I don't think any of us were really equipped mentally to deal with things like love and relationships… We were only children after all… So I did the only thing I could think of… I let her take it back, and she did… And after that, things went back to normal… Well… Almost… I always kept that night locked up in the back of my mind.

Then there was the jungle… Boy, was that an adventure. We spent so much time together looking for my parents, and when everyone had given up hope in finding them, Helga didn't… She was the push I needed, and without her I would have failed. I would have never found my parents. I remember when we had finally found them; I was so happy that I could not contain myself. I did the only thing I could think of to thank her, I kissed her… Planted a big wet one right upon her lips… She was confused, I could tell. And if Gerald had not interrupted us the way he did… I'm sure we would have sorted out our feelings for each other. But we never had our chance… What with all the excitement going on in our lives… After returned from the jungle, Helga went back to being a bully, detaching herself and pulling away from everyone who cared about her, especially me… But one day in the seventh grade, she came into class and was…. _Nice_…. I'll have to admit, I wasn't used to it at first; but I eventually came around and we became really good friends. However, we had yet to discuss the events on top of the **FTi** building or the night in the jungle…. I guess it really was all just a 'heat of the moment' thing, well… for her at least…. She always was the passionate type… So I never brought it up again. I guess I was just enthralled for the fact that we could now share in a friendship.

Even if we were just friends… that was all I needed to be happy…. Just having her here with me…. Made me _happy_…

"Arnold…." Came her voice again, like the sound of wind chimes on a soft breezy day. I felt her small fingers clench the fabric of my shirt in a death grip. I couldn't help but to smile… I stroked her soft blonde hair, my fingers entwining with her delightfully golden locks. She seemed so at ease in my arms, and for that I was grateful. I slowly and so gently placed my chapped lips against the silky smooth flesh of her forehead and held her tighter, feeling her stir beneath me. When I pulled away, I watched as her crystal eyes fluttered open to meet mine in a sleepy gaze. She lay there for a while allowing herself to fully comprehend where she was, and she just sort of smiled at me, not loosening her grip on my shirt. I had no intentions of letting her out of my arms either… At least not quite yet… It was that moment of blissful silence, neither of us wanting to speak, fearful that it may ruin the beauty. In this moment, the world seemed to stand still, time was nonexistent.

"Mmmmm" She stretched like a cat "What time is it?" she finally broke the silence.

"Just passed eight o'clock" I whispered softly.

"Mmm, it's so early…" she said as she sat up. Suddenly I felt cold. I sat up next to her and smiled warmly.

"Breakfast?" I asked, hoping with all my heart that she would accept. Instead she just shook her head and fell back down onto the bed.

"Can't I just sleep a bit more? You can go on without me" there was just no winning with her… She was the most stubborn and thick headed girl I had ever met. I sighed deeply to myself, watching her for a moment. She held her eyes shut tight, pretending to be asleep. I wasn't going to pressure her into eating… I knew if I tried, she would pull away from me and she wouldn't trust me… I wanted her to feel comfortable in my home and around me, and I had hoped that maybe she would soon confide in me her darkest secrets…. One day…. Hopefully before she dies…. No, I would never let that happen… No matter how much she was going to protest, I would get her the help she needed… Whether she hated and resented me for it or not. Quietly I excused myself from the room and strolled into the lavatory to brush my teeth before meeting the rest of my guest's and the boarders in the kitchen for breakfast. To my surprise, Phoebe and Gerald were already sitting at the table; they seemed to be feeling much better. My mother turned around to greet me with a kiss after placing three very delicious looking nutella crepes on a plate in front of me. She topped it with bananas and whipped cream.

"Good morning, Arnold… Where is Helga?" My mom asked with a sly smirk. I blushed deeply, I knew she was aware of the fact that Helga and I had slept together the night before. Well, you know what I mean.

"She said she wasn't hungry… She wanted to sleep more…" I choked out as I spooned a fork full of delicious breakfast into my mouth hungrily.

"Well… You make sure she eats, son… I think it's safe to say we are all worried about that girl" my father chimed in, sipping at his cup of coffee. My dad hardly ever spoke his opinion, so the fact that he was stating about how worried he was, was a big deal. I gulped down almost half my cup of milk nervously.

"Yes…. Her current predicament does seem…. Quite unhealthy… and frankly I think if we don't do something quickly, she may spiral more out of control than she already is…. This could potentially cost her life…" Phoebe squeaked, not once touching the food on her plate. I could see the worry in her eyes… For her best friend, and for her parents….

"So why don't we just do an intervention?" Gerald waved his fork, speaking with a mouth full of food.

"Gerald, don't talk with your mouth full… It's rude…" Mrs. Johansson scolded as she sipped at her cup of coffee.

My mom and dad looked towards each other and then at me, my mom with those big green questioning orbs… I looked down at my plate, suddenly losing my appetite.

"Arnold…. Exactly what is going on with Helga?" My mom pressed sternly. I knew that if I mentioned my suspicions I would be betraying Helga's trust… Even if she hadn't quite told me what was happening in her life. I was about to speak but Phoebe took the initiative.

"Well, if I may, Mrs. Shortman… Helga hasn't told any of us what may be going on with her… But I did a bit of research and found some rather disturbing information…."

"Go on, Phoebe…." My mom pressured.

_"What information, Phoebes?"_ we all turned to see Helga standing in the doorway of the kitchen. I could tell she knew that we were talking about her, and she didn't appear very happy. My mom quickly stood up and pulled out a chair, patting the seat. Helga walked over and sat down. Mom placed a plate of crepes and a glass of milk in front of her, of which Helga just snarled at. I felt bad for her… But if she really thought the lot of us would just let this go, she was completely mistaken. We all cared way too much to allow her to kill herself slowly while we just sat back and watched.

"Thank you, Mrs. Shortman… But I'm not hungry…" Helga said softly and pushed the plate away.

"Eat, _Helga_!" Phoebe demanded, slamming her fists on the table. We all snapped our heads in her direction, completely shocked at her behavior. She was bound to snap sooner or later, after all she was Helga's best friend and I knew she would be damned if she let her best friend croak at such a young age. Helga blinked at this demand, but held her attitude strong and vile. "Don't tell me what to do, Phoebe… You are not my mother!" Helga snapped. Phoebe stood up and walked over to Helga, grabbing her fork and trying to force the food into her mouth, Helga fought back with what little strength she had.

"_That's enough_!" My father slammed his paper down onto the table. I had never seen him so forceful! It was… frightening… and I could tell everyone else found it to be terrifying as well, because when he showed this performance everyone just sort of jumped and then looked down in silence. Phoebe and Helga also stopping dead in their tracks. "Helga, Arnold, Phoebe, and Gerald report to the living room pronto! You too, Stella" dad growled and pointed to the kitchen door. We all stood up, leaving our plates on the table and marched into the living room single file. The four of us took a seat on the couch; I made sure to sit next to Helga with Phoebe on her other side. I knew whatever was about to happen, Helga was going to need us. My mom and dad stood side by side in front of us, I could see the vein on my dad's forehead protruding as he thought to himself deeply.

"Now, Helga…. We all want to help you…. And if we didn't you wouldn't be sitting on this couch… But in order to be helped you _NEED_ to tell us what is going on… I will _not_ have you giving my son a heart attack…. I know you've never had parents who cared, but we care, and I know for a fact that Arnold, Phoebe and Gerald care for you too… Now please, Helga…. Tell us…." My dad began. Helga stared at the floor intently and I grasped her hand. She was shocked by this and snapped her head up to look me in the eye, frightened, I could tell. She squeezed my hand and tears began to well up in her eyes, I urged her to tell them "It's okay, Helga… We are here for you…" I said softly. "Yes, Helga… We just want to see you happy…." Phoebe added. "Yeah, man… We can't lose you… You're the most passionate person I know" Gerald chirped. All of us begging for her to accept our help. My mom walked up to Helga and wrapped her arms around her tightly, Helga now in full on tears. She pulled away and placed her slender hand under the broken girls chin.

"Helga… Tell us honestly… Have you been starving yourself? Have you been making yourself throw up?" My mom asked sweetly, her voice so full of care and love.

"It's alright, Helga… You can tell us… We care about you, okay?" My dad walked over and kneeled down to face her "its okay…." He added and caressed her cheek, wiping a single tear from her eye. I felt Helga's hand shaking beneath mine; I gripped her hand tighter and nodded at her "Come on, Helga… We can help you…" I whispered in her ear, she just trembled furiously, like a Chihuahua sitting in front of a fan. Phoebe put her arm around Helga's shoulder and held her tightly, Gerald walked around to the back of the couch, placing his hands on each of her shoulders. She took a deep breath and held it for a long moment before exhaling slowly and deeply, clenching her eyes shut. This was it, she was finally going to admit it and accept our help, and we were finally getting somewhere.

"_No_…." Helga muttered, keeping her eyes shut. We all sighed in unison, not letting go of her trembling body.

"Helga…." My dad growled, testing.

Before I could say a word, Helga's tiny arms flew around my waist, causing me to fall back deeper into the couch. She started sobbing furiously, mumbling things that could not be understood. I wrapped my arms around her and stroked her hair, watching as my mom and dad stood up to face each other. "Let's give them a moment…." My mom instructed, and everyone walked out of the room, leaving Helga and me by ourselves. I continued to stroke her hair for a while before she finally pulled back and looked me in the eyes, I smiled kindly and wiped the tears from her eyes, and then I ran my fingers through her hair. She sniffled and forced a weak smile before sitting back against the couch and looking up at the ceiling, trying to find her words. She pondered for a moment, and I watched her in silence before she took a deep breath and closed her eyes, as if she was remembering her past.

"I just….Always resented myself for not being perfect…. Olga was always perfect… For some reason it never bothered me… I didn't mind being invisible to everyone around me… I built up this wall to shield me from the world, but one day it all came tumbling down…"

"You were never invisible to me, Helga…."

She chuckled lightly to herself as a tear began to roll down her cheek again. "No, but you hated me… You hated me for being cruel and nasty to you all those years; walking all over you like you were some kind of doormat…. Oh, Arnold… I'm so sorry, could you ever forgive me?" I felt my eyes well up at her apology… I knew she always felt bad for the way she had treated me, but I never imagined it to be this burdensome… I felt a pang in my stomach when she leaned forward and cradled her face in her hands, sobbing once more, I placed my hand on her back to comfort her but she jerked away and continued to cry.

"For what it's worth, Helga… I never hated you… never…" I spoke softly, looking at the ground now. She looked up at me, wiped her tears.

"It's okay if you did… I deserve it…."

"Well, I forgive you Helga… If I didn't, then I wouldn't be sitting here with you… Believe it or not, I care about you…" I said and held my arms open to her; she leaned into me, sniffling softly.

_"Remember the time when you hit me on the head with a baseball? You walked me home… Read to me…. Tucked me in… And the next day you spent with me, babysitting me… Reading to me, feeding me…."_ She reminisced. Oh, I knew exactly the day she was talking about, I remembered it so vividly. She kept calling me stupid names…. _'Arles, Ambrose, Archibald_…' I laughed silently to myself. "Yeah, I remember, why?" I asked, masking my own entertainment on the topic. She took a deep breath before continuing… "_I never told you before, but when I woke up that morning, I remembered everything…. My amnesia was completely gone…. I just pretended to still be daft so you could spend time with me… You were always so nice to everyone else… But never saw me… I wanted the attention you showed to all your other friends, Arnold…. I felt invisible to you too…."_ I gulped as she said this, never once realizing that I may be one of the people she felt never saw her. I patted her hair and looked down at her with apologetic eyes…

"Helga…. If I ever made you feel invisible…." I began but she cut me off.

"It's okay, football head…. I'm sure you didn't realize… I'm just trying to tell you why I am like this…. Aside from feeling invisible to everyone in my life… I started to feel like I needed to live up to my parents expectations… I felt like I needed to show Olga up… I needed to be perfect, I needed to be perfect!" She began to cry again, I lifted her chin to look into her face.

"Helga… What does being perfect have to do with not eating, or throwing up?" she swallowed hard, she knew this was going to have to be discussed sooner rather than later so she didn't resist it. She took another deep breath and stared me dead in the eye.

"Because, it's the only thing in my life that I can seem to control right now… maybe if people see that I won't eat, they will think that I have so much self control… and then sometimes I lose control and I eat… So I have to throw it up… I know it doesn't make sense… But there are so many things that go with it… not just being perfect… and I thought that maybe you would..."

"Like what? and that I would _what?_"

"It's really hard to explain…."

At this point I was just extremely happy that she finally confessed to me, confided in me, wanted my help. I smiled softly at her and hugged her. "You have to tell my mom and dad, Helga, so we can help you…. You could die from this…." I said softly in her ear.

"If it would save me the embarrassment, then just let me die…." She whispered back. I stood up and held my hand out to her which she reluctantly took and I led her into the kitchen where my parents and Phoebe and Gerald sat, waiting for us patiently. I could feel her hands begin trembling again, and she hesitated for a minute but I tugged her into the kitchen.

"Helga has something she wants to say to everyone…." I said softly and nudged her in the side very softly. She took a deep breath, bracing herself. I could tell she was nervous, frightened.

"I've been starving myself, and inducing vomiting to lose weight…. And I need you guys… I need your help…." She said, her words scattered and muffled behind small chokes and sobs. When she was finished with her sentence she fell to the ground, crying into her hands again. Everyone ran over to her and fell down beside her, embracing her lovingly. Phoebe began to cry as well as my mom, my dad, Gerald and I just holding them for comfort. Everyone was just so happy that Helga accepted our help before it was too late for her.

After the sob fest was good and done with, my mom instructed me to take Helga up to my room to let her rest. It had been a long and traumatizing morning for her, and we could all tell that she was tired. I grabbed a clean pair of shorts and a t-shirt from my drawer and handed them to her. "Here, Helga… So you can get comfortable" I said and walked towards the door "You just rest up, and join us when you're ready" I added. She smiled at me, her eyes all puffy and red from crying "Arnold…. Thank you…" she said softly as I left the room. When I made my way into the living room I found my mom and dad discussing the very serious matter, Gerald and Phoebe had disappeared into his room to leave us for chatter.

"Mom, Dad, what are we going to do about Helga?" I asked softly and sat on the couch, watching my parents. They always found a way to help others in need, that's probably where I got it from. My mom looked over at me with concern.

"Well, Arnold… This is a very delicate situation…" My mom began.

"Yes, and since her own parents don't seem to give a damn about her…"

"Miles!"

"Sorry, Honey… but it's true…"

"Well, Arnold… I think it might be best if Helga stays here for a while…. You know, so I can monitor her food intake, make sure she's not throwing up… Since I'm sure her parents will be too busy to do so…" My mom said kindly.

"You mean, have her live with us?" I asked confused. Of course I didn't mind at all, I was actually excited at this proposition, but how on earth would Helga react to it? My mom nodded with a small smile, seeing the excitement in my eyes.

"I will call and see if I can go talk to her father on Monday…. You can talk to Helga about it tomorrow and see how she feels about this… But should she deny… I will strongly have to recommend and inpatient treatment…." My dad chimed in. "You mean, like a mental hospital?" I asked, worried. My dad nodded, I definitely did not want Helga to end up in a mental hospital… So I would definitely proposition her when she was a little less shaken up from the morning's events.

I had hoped she would accept our requests, for her own good.

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**Alright, hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Please, please, pleaseeeeee rate and review! When I see reviews, I get happy in the pants, and I like being happy in the pants! Pleassssseeeeeee make me happy in the pants?**

**Anyway, next chapter should be up soon. I am already working on it! But, I won't update unless I get a million reviews! MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH! ;)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey, everyone. Sorry it took so long for the update! I've been really thinking about this story, and where I am going to continue to include Phoebe and Gerald and everyone into the story, for now I'm going to keep it in Arnold and Helga's POV. Its less messy, and less irritating. I may change my mind in the future, but I still haven't decided**. **And I'm so sorry to be so indecisive, but its one of my many quirks! Here you go, chapter 6!**

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**[Chapter 6: The world suddenly seems small...]**

I was curled into a ball on Arnold's bed. His clothes smelled like him, obviously, and so did his bed. Everything smelled like him, it was intoxicating. I hugged his pillow closely and inhaled deeply "Oh, Arnold….." I whispered softly to myself. He was so amazing, and I was scum…. Why he even tried so hard to get inside my head was beyond me. There was absolutely nothing interesting or special in there, my mind was just a dark and damp cave… In a way, it sort of felt good to get this whole 'not eating' business off my chest, but then again… That also meant that I would be on constant monitor by everyone… And no doubt that Miles and Stella would tell my parents… Knowing Bob, he would flip out… And Miriam would be just way too drunk to even care…. Bob would probably go on about how I'm a Pataki, and how we 'Pataki's' are supposed to be strong and blah blah blah! Hello! I am being strong! He was so stupid, and I really was not looking forward to dealing with him. I pushed all nasty thoughts from my mind and continued to snuggle Arnold's pillow, pretending it was him. "Oh, Arnold…. Kiss you? Gladly, my love…" I whispered to the white pillow case and puckered up my lips, about to plant one right on it when I heard footsteps. I quickly shoved the pillow back under my head and pretended to nap as my love quietly crept into the room. I felt him climb into the bed beside me and slide his index finger down the bridge of my nose and then he lightly tapped my forehead, whispering my name. I opened my eyes slowly, his green orbs were so close to mine, I could almost see into his soul. I couldn't help but to give him a genuine smile, his face was so sweet and kind, oh god how I loved him.

"Hey, Helga…." He whispered softly, I scrunched my nose. "I wanted to ask you something…" he added.

"What's up, football head?" I asked and sat up, looking down at him. He quickly sat up beside me, his face now serious. What was he planning on asking? It was obviously something important because he fumbled with his words.

"Well… Um… Well, my parents and I uh… well, we…..Helga, I…." he stuttered and I couldn't help but to laugh.

"Spit it out, Arnold-o, I haven't got ten years" I joked, trying to lighten up the mood. He smiled weakly and put his arms around me, pulling me into a tight hug. I blushed, not hugging him back; it was such a random act. When he pulled away he took a deep breath and composed himself.

"Given the circumstances, Helga… My parents and I have decided that you should come and stay with us for a while… My dad is going to talk to your dad on Monday…." His words came out fast and nervous. I blinked in utter confusion, they wanted me to….move in with them? Goodness, where would I even stay? I'm sure miles and Stella wouldn't want me sleeping in their son's room with him every night…. And Gerald and his mom and sister were now staying with them…. I didn't want to be burdensome… I didn't want to impose, take up space that was much needed for taking care of his sick grandparents…. I could not accept this offer, it was just too much… It was very sweet, I'd give them that, but too sweet… They all had so much on their plate already that I just simply would be too much to handle. It took me a moment to think this through all the way, I smiled at Arnold sweetly and shook my head.

"No, Arnold… I can't do that… your parents have done so much for me already…. I feel that this would be too much for them…." I said softly. I could tell that Arnold wasn't pleased with my answer; he knew that I wasn't going to make this easy for him, the poor little sap… But he pressed on…

"Actually, Helga…. It's not really a choice… My father already called your dad and they set up an appointment to speak tomorrow about your….predicament…. It's either move in with us till you can get better, or they're going to send you away, and neither of us want that…." He said nervously and looked down at the bed sheets. I knew that he didn't want to take it that far, but I really left him no choice. It seemed as though he was waiting for me to explode at him and call him names, that how dare him and his parents do this to me. But I knew I had brought it upon myself and that they only wanted to help me, they wanted me healthy… Which was more than I could say from my own family. I didn't have it in me to scowl and yell at the beautiful boy before me, who was only trying to help me, who cared about me unlike others. I just took a deep breath and closed my eyes gently before parting my lips, speaking softly.

"Well, if your parents are that set on this… I guess I could give it a try…. I'd rather stay here than be taken away from you…..I mean Phoebe and everyone…." I choked that last part out in a save. Arnold looked up at me, his face full of relief that I didn't explode on him. He smiled brightly and grabbed me into another hug, lingering there for a long moment before finally pulling away. "Great, Helga…. It will be worth it…" he said softly and placed a gentle kiss on the top of my head, I blushed furiously.

Oh he was the sweetest thing I had ever known, his gentle good heartedness was way too much to bear sometimes. I swore to myself that if I never knew him, I don't know where I'd be… Probably dead… Sometimes I wanted to just grab his football head and kiss it all over, rip off his clothes and ravage his succulent flesh. My cheeks burned a bright red at this image in my head and I quickly ripped it out of my mind before I said or did something that I would later regret. I gnawed on my lower lip, pondering in silence for a long while, Arnold looked disgruntled. "What are you thinking about?" he asked softly. I coughed in nervousness and took a deep breath "Well, Arnold…. Where would I stay? I'm sure you have no room for me…." I whispered quietly. Arnold smiled.

"Well, you know Mr. and Mrs. Davis?"

"Yeah…."

"Well, they bought a house and they're moving in a few weeks… My mom and dad said you can have their room once they leave, in the mean time…" He paused and blushed slightly, I could sense what was coming. "You'll stay in my room, if that's alright with you" he finished and looked down at the carpet on his floor. I was too excited for words, my mouth gaped, and I could feel it. I was going to stay in Arnold's room for a few weeks? With him, maybe? I was reduced to a puddle on the floor. A toothy grin spread on my face from ear to ear, I couldn't help it. "I don't mind at all, football head" I said, trying to stay calm and collected. He smiled and embraced me once more, relieved that I hadn't denied the idea. How could I? It was the happiest day of my life, now to just face big Bob and Miriam…

* * *

I squeezed Arnold's hand tightly, a grip of death. He struggled beneath my grasp uncomfortably but I didn't dare to let go. He grunted lightly and looked down at our hands "Um…. Helga?" he said softly.

"Yes?" I choked out nervously.

"You'll be alright, I promise. We will all be with you, and nothing bad is going to happen"

"I suppose you're right…."

"Helga?"

"Yes?"

"Can you let go of my hand? You're squeezing it kind of hard"

"Oh, sorry…" I said and loosened my grip on his pale hand. It was so soft and warm, just having my mind on him seemed to sooth my troubled soul. We pulled up to my house and I gulped as Miles and Stella stepped out of the car, Arnold following. I lingered for a moment and Arnold walked over to my side of the door and opened it, bending down at eye level. I was nervous, I couldn't do this… I couldn't face Bob… He would have my head on a golden platter. "Helga… You're going to be okay…." Arnold said softly and extended his hand out to me. I inhaled deeply and closed my eyes before exhaling. I took his hand and got out of the car, walking up to my front door not once letting go of his soft hand. Knock, knock, knock… Miles knocked on the door and a very livid appearing Big Bob stood in the doorway, hesitantly inviting everyone in. Miriam and Olga sat on the couch, waiting for us, Miriam was….Sober…. And Olga was….Here? What the hell? This was intervention status. I sort of hid behind Arnold, knowing he would protect me to no end. "Sit" Bob said in a grunt and everyone did as instructed. Bob was fuming; I knew he could tell that whatever this was wasn't good, that somehow it would have an effect on the 'Pataki' name in a negative way. And of course, it would be me to be the one to fuck everything up. I was such a failure.

"What did the girl do this time?"

"Daddy!"

"Now, Bob… I'm sure Helga feels bad about whatever she may have done, right sweetie?" Miriam looked over at me with a small smile. Miles interjected all the allegations towards me with a disgruntled face.

"I'm sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Pataki… But Helga hasn't done anything" He chose his words carefully.

"Yes, we're here because we're quite worried about her and feel that we have a solution on how to help her" Stella added, also choosing her words carefully. Whereas my father fidgeted and writhed in anger, Stella and Miles always remained calm. I needed that. Olga's expression seemed worried and to prevent any unwanted outbursts or stupidity from either of my parents she pressed further on the matter.

"Alright, we've established the fact that Helga hasn't done anything evil, so what is this about?" Olga chimed politely and my face twisted in agony… It was coming…. I nudged at Arnold's side fearful and he put his arm around my shoulder, pulling me close.

"Oh, God… You're pregnant aren't you, Olga?" Bob groaned and placed his palm against his forehead. Everyone in the room went silent in awe, I was horrified and I could tell Arnold was too. Is this really what they thought of me? That I was some slut to go off and get knocked up in high school? That was hardly the case, I was still a virgin! I was…. Saving myself for someone… I looked towards Arnold and then at my parents. "No, BOB, I am not pregnant and it's Helga! _H-E-L-G-A_! HELGA!" I screamed, about to stand up and sock him right in the face, but Arnold held me tighter. Stella's look of appall faded and she composed herself by clearing her throat.

"Mr. Pataki… Helga isn't pregnant… We are here because we fear that her eating patterns are jeopardizing her health, and we think it might be a good idea for her to come and stay with us for a while" She was nervous, I could see it but this strong woman would stand her ground. Miriam raised an eyebrow.

"What do you mean eating patterns?" Miriam was so stupid; you had to spell everything out for her. Luckily Olga did that for everyone.

"Do you mean an eating disorder?" Olga gasped and ran over to me, throwing her arms around my neck "Baby sister! Why? Why are you doing this to yourself! If there is anything I could have done to-

"Oh save it, Olga it is what it is and none of you ever cared. I'm going to stay with Arnold and none of you can stop me" I cut her off and pushed her away, she fell to the ground in tears. The rage in Bob's eyes grew and he flew to his feet.

"Now, Girl, you are going to eat and this won't come up again!" he screamed in my direction.

"Daddy, no! This is a serious disease! We're learning about it in psychology! We can't force her to eat, she's sick and if she feels that Arnold and his parents can help her then let her go! Baby sister… I've always wanted the best for you…" Olga sniffled, once again making this about her. The look on my dad's face softened as if he somewhat understood what Olga was trying to say. He walked over to me and placed his hands on my shoulders, looking me dead in the eye. Was he… Concerned? Miriam stood up and walked over to me as well, Arnold took that as his cue to stand to his feet and walk over to his parents. They all excused themselves into the kitchen to give us a bit of privacy; part of me hoped they'd stayed. Miriam sat beside me with her hand over her heart, were those tears I saw? And Bob continued to stare me in the face before sighing heavily. "Helga… Why didn't you come to us with this? Why did you feel that you had to go to Arnold's parents instead? They are not your parents, we are…" Bob said, his voice seemed melancholy. I blinked, I couldn't believe the words coming out of his mouth.

"Yeah, Helga honey… We are your parents, dear… You should be able to tell us anything…" Miriam added. Was she for real? I blinked again, trying to find the words I so desperately had been trying to get out for the past years of my life. I decided to just go with the flow.

"….Would you have listened?" I looked down at the ground.

"Of course, girl! That's what parents are for!" Bob exclaimed desperately and shook me a little.

"No, _BOB_. You wouldn't have listened! You never listen! You're always too busy with your work and obsessing over _OLGA_ that I never mattered! You would have told me that I'm a Pataki and that there was nothing wrong!"

My rant began and I was too blinded by rage that I couldn't see the hurt in my family's eyes. And even if I did, why should I care? They had treated me like shit my whole life, it was time for them to feel even a microscopic portion of my suffering and pain.

"And you, _MOM_! You're always too drunk to notice anything! You're always passed out on the couch or on the floor, anywhere there's a surface, how could I possibly confide in a drunk who doesn't even remember the night before!" My mom's eyes welled with tears, threatening to burst at any moment.

And OLGA…. _O-L-G-A_! Ms. Perfect over here, always focusing on her own shit and perfection that you never once saw the pain I endured here at home! But why would you see it? You were always too busy basking in Bob and Miriam's praise that I went unnoticed even by you! Yeah, sure I could have come to you guys…. None of you would have listened… But Arnold and his parents knew something was going on… They showed me love…. They pushed me to tell them, and I did.. And they want to help…" I finally took a breath, my chest heaving heavily. My parents stood, a loss of words, I needed to say it before I put a bullet in each one of their faces while they slept. They were all hurt, I felt it, good, and I wanted them to hurt as badly as I had hurt. Before I could even blink, Bob grabbed me into a tight hug, his tears spilling onto the nape of my neck. Wow, I wanted them to hurt but I never thought that Big Bob Pataki would cry! So he was human? Miriam's tears finally burst free and she joined the hug, and of course an already sobbing Olga wrapped her arms around us. In this moment, I couldn't help it. Tears of my own broke free and I sobbed into the arms of my father, embracing him tightly. We all sat and cried for a few moments before Bob pulled away and knelt down in front of me. His hands back on my shoulders. "I'm so sorry, Helga… I was always too caught up in my own worries and work that I never realized the pain I'd caused you…"

"That we all caused you" Miriam added, wiping away my tears.

"Can you ever forgive us, baby sister?"

"Of course I can… You're my family… and I love you guys…. But I still think that I should go stay with Arnold and his family for a while… They're more prepared to handle this than you guys… And I don't want to have to make your stresses harder" I said softly. They all nodded.

"Well, little lady… You take as long as you need, okay? And we will be here waiting for you when you get back" He said and embraced me once more, before patting me on the head. "We'll miss you Helga… Hurry home honey" Miriam hugged me and gave me a small kiss on the cheek. "I love you baby sister, please get healthy" Olga smiled and also kissed me. For once in my life, I gave my family a genuine smile. Arnold and his parents walked back into the room, and smiled at us. We all smiled, this moment was content and I am glad it happened. "Arnold, why don't you go help Helga pack up some of her things?" Stella suggested, Arnold nodded.

"Well, since Helga's going to be uh, staying with you all and stuff… Uh, should I send a check?" Bob rubbed at the back of his neck. God, it was always a matter of money to him, but this time I didn't sneer, for I knew he was just trying to help in the only way he knew. Miles chuckled slightly and shook his head "That won't be necessary… We are more than happy to have her stay with us at no cost" He said with a friendly smile and held out his hand, Bob shook it in gratitude.

* * *

"What a fucking day!" I flopped down onto Arnold's bed, staring up at the sky light. He flopped down beside me and smiled "You did really well today, Helga I am so proud of you" I sat up and looked at him with a smile. "Thank you, Arnold-o… I didn't think my parents would cave like that" I pondered. "They love you, Helga… And they just want the best for you" He rolled over onto his side and patted my hand.

"Arnold?"

"Yes, Helga?"

I love you so much… I have always loved you… Without you I'd be dead, there is nothing in this universe that could ever make my burning desire for you any less than what it is…. I want to be with you forever and always…. Why can't you see that without you, I'd be nothing? Why can't you be mine? Oh god my body aches for you… Just take me now, my beloved…

"…Thank you for everything…"

"My pleasure… Now how about something to eat to celebrate?" This was going to be a long and hard recovery….

"It's been rough… Can we start tomorrow?"

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**Alright, there you go! I hope you enjoyed and sorry it was so short! Way more drama to come! Rate and review, damnit! Oh, and I think within the next few chapters I'll be changing the rating to M, so keep an eye out for it.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Alright, sorry it took forever and a day to upload! But here is chapter 7! I hope it's not a disappointment to you!**

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_****__**[Chapter 7: My Iron Lung]**_

"Arnold! Helga! Come on down for breakfast, please"

I heard a voice outside my door, it was my mothers. She hadn't come in due to respect for our privacy, but I had to blush at the fact that she may even suspect something going on between Helga and me. Every now and again I wished something was going on between Helga and me, but they were always thoughts that soon faded. "Be right down!" I called to my mom as I jumped off of the couch and walked over to the bed where Helga lay sleeping. I leaned down and stroked her hair softly in a polite attempt to wake her. "Helga" I whispered in her ear "My mom wants us for breakfast." She turned to face me, her eyes fluttering open to gaze into my own. She was so beautiful even in the morning; I had to admit she was definitely someone I wouldn't mind waking up to every morning. I blushed deeply at the images in my head and quickly shook them away. "Breakfast? I'm not hungry" she groaned and pulled the sheets over her head. This was going to be a long and rocky road…. I was stupid for ever thinking this would be remotely easy… But I was already involved, and I wasn't prepared to lose such an amazing girl. "Helga." I warned in a stern voice, almost reminding me of my father. She pulled the blanket back down and stared at me in the face "You promised you would try…. Now _try_" I pulled her up by the wrists and dragged her down the stairs with ease.

Everyone sat at the table waiting to be served, Gerald was sipping at a cup of coffee, and Phoebe had gone home the day before. We invited her to stay with us for a couple of days till things at home had died down, but she insisted that even with everything going on she needed to be there for her parents. She was such a good daughter, but part of me believed that she had some sort of hope that the whole divorce thing would blow over….. Even though it seemed pretty set in stone. The boarders all sat and argued amongst themselves, it was the first of the month, rent time. Some of them had paid early and others made up endless excuses of why they were going to be late. Either way, the money showed one way or another which was all that mattered. My mom set the food down in the middle of the table and placed a specially made plate down in front of Helga.

"Here you go, sweetie… I thought that waffles, hash browns and sausage would be too rich for you to handle. So I made you two egg whites, and a bowl of oatmeal with non fat soy milk. It is less than 200 calories… I figured we could start small" My mom was so nice, and no doubt even though what she made Helga wasn't much, it was so healthy and nutritious for her body.

"Thank you, Stella" Helga gulped, staring at her plate nervously. As everyone else dug into their breakfast and when she thought no one was paying attention. I watched as Helga sneakily grabbed the eggs off her plate one by one and fed it to Abner the second. Whenever my mom would look in her direction she would pretend to be chewing happily. I sighed deeply to myself, disappointed and sad that she would try to deceive us this way. However, I had to keep telling myself that it wasn't her fault; it was the horrible disease consuming her mind. I had half the mind to call her out on what I had just seen, but I knew the embarrassment I'd bestow upon her would be horrifying to her, and she'd be angry, and I really didn't want that for her. My mom praised her on how proud she was that she was eating, but she would refuse the praise and instead look in my direction guiltily while I glared into her eyes knowingly. She mouthed the words 'I'm so sorry' to me once or twice; I just shook my head and continued to eat. Spoon by spoon, I watched as she fed the rest of her meal to Abner the second and gulped down the freshly squeezed orange juice. Well, she drank that at least, it was better than nothing. "Arnold, honey, would you go wake your grandparents and bring them down for their medicine?" my mom asked me politely and I nodded, always happy to help.

* * *

"Grandma, Grandpa, time to wake up for your meds and have some breakfast!" I sang as I knocked on the door before opening it a crack. The feeling that overcame me as I entered into the room was not welcoming in the slightest. The air was stale and cold, all time seemed to stand still, and it was quiet and unnerving. I felt as though I had just entered into the twilight zone, a parallel dimension. The lighting in the room seemed dim; I could see particles frozen in the air, this state of consciousness didn't seem real. I had a moment of depersonalization… I had to grab onto the bookshelf to make sure I was in reality and not some floating dream state. I finally composed myself as I took a few steps towards the king sized bed my grandparents had slept in for many a year. They were laying peacefully, hand in hand, their bodies still. They seemed to be in a deep slumber, not budging once the entire night; I reached my hand down, placing it upon my grandpa's hand. His flesh was cold, his lips were blue, and his chest did not heave up and down to show signs of air in his lungs. Grandma looked the same. Lifeless and pale. They were still soft. I shook them slightly "Grandma… Grandpa… Wake…. Up…." I slurred confusedly, I shook more violently. They must have really been tired! I shook again… Nothing. My expression went blank, my face went white, I slowly backed out of the room and shut the door.

_"Arnold, where are your grandparents, I have their breakfast ready"_

_**….**_

_"Are you alright?"_

_**….**_

_"Arnold sweetie, what's wrong?"_

_**…**_

Gerald and Helga turned to look at each other and then at me as my parents dropped their cups of coffee and ran up the stairs, surely to my grandparents' room. I stood, staring blankly off into the blackened void of space never once saying a single word. Helga was at my side in seconds, trying to embrace me and frantically asking me if I was okay, what was going on, were they alright? Gerald, too, was at my side trying to consol me. What was there to consol? Did they not see that I was fine? There was nothing wrong, they were just sleeping! I don't know what all the fuss was about! I quietly walked back over to my place at the table as the other boarders started to shuffle out of the kitchen to go nose about upstairs. I placed my cup of coffee up to my lips and sipped at it before finishing up the rest of my meal and clearing the table. Gerald and Helga staring at me dumbfounded the whole time. I heard Helga whisper something to Gerald before they left the room sadly, leaving me in my silence. My mind blank. In the background of my thoughts I heard the sound of sirens drawing ever nearer to my home. I heard a knock on the door. I heard sobbing voices. I heard the patter of footsteps running back up the stairs frantically and a door slamming. An eerie silence befell the boarding house that morning, sadness filled the air, the rain began to fall, time stopped…

_No…. They weren't dead…._

_They…_

_They just couldn't be…._

_**...**  
_

"Arnold? May I come in?" there was a knock on my door. I was silent as I threw a base ball at my wall, catching it when it bounced back in my direction. The door cracked open, that beautiful blonde girl that had been causing me so much grief stood in the door way beside an olive colored boy with tall hair. They carried milk and cookies in their hands and took a seat on either side of me. I appreciated the warm gesture, but there was still nothing wrong! Couldn't they get it through their thick heads? Everything was perfect in my little world, bad things never happened to me! I was Arnold Phillip Shortman! The kid with the optimistic outlook on life! The one who solved people's problems, never having problems of my own. I felt skinny fingers grip the fabric on my shoulder and pull me into a tight embrace, my hands falling at my sides. Her fingers brushed through my cornflower locks softly, her free hand rising up to caress my flushed cheeks, they were burning hot with sickness, I felt nauseated; was I maybe coming down with the flu? Nah, I hadn't felt sick this morning. I shook the thought from my mind. Gerald had joined the embrace some time ago, but I was too wrapped up in my own thoughts to even notice. When they pulled away I blinked slightly "What was that for?" I asked blankly. "Oh….Arnold…." Helga choked back her sobs and placed her hand over her heart, looking down in sadness. Gerald shook his head and patted my back. "I'm so sorry, man…." He said in pain, trying to choke back sobs of his own. Gerald, crying? It must have been the apocalypse. "It's okay, man… Just let it out… I know you're upset… It's okay to cry" Gerald said and I looked up at him with fury in my eyes. "What are you talking about, Gerald? There is nothing wrong! Just leave me alone!" I spat the words in his direction. They both looked at me in shock, but understood nevertheless.

"Arnold…." My mother and father stood in the doorway. My mom's eyes were red and puffy with tears, and my dad looked no different. They made their way into my room, Helga and Gerald let them sit where they had been previously and moved over to my couch, sitting in silence. "Arnold…. Son…. I know this may be hard for you…. So we're going to keep you out of school for a little while…"

"Yes, honey…. We want you to take all the time you need to feel better okay? This is going to be a hard road for all of us to go down together"

"When's the funeral?" I asked plainly, staring at the wall a few feet in front of me. They looked at each other with sad eyes, silent for a few moments.

"We were thinking we would hold it next Tuesday…." My dad said softly, given the fact that the coroner would need time to work on the bodies, make them decent for their last day above the ground. I just nodded silently, thinking for a few moments. "Can you please go now?" I asked softly, yet there was a hint of venom in my voice. Everyone silently left the room, except for Helga. She was so stubborn! Or maybe she only stayed because we were sharing this room for the time being, but couldn't she see that I wanted to be alone? Stubborn, thick-headed girl! I grunted angrily to myself and plopped down onto my bed, closing my eyes, wanting to sleep for the rest of my life. Visions of my grandparents lying lifelessly on their bed taunted my thoughts, and the more I tried to shake the images the more vivid they became. Go away… Just go away…. I wanted it to stop, but somehow I knew that it would never stop. I would have to deal with this for the rest of my life; it would eventually have to become my new normal. I felt a body crawl under the comforter next to me and slide an arm around my waist, resting on my flat stomach. I felt a sort of weight lift, knowing that I wasn't alone yet I still wanted to be alone. Alone with my thoughts. "Arnold…" a soft coo flooded my ear and I turned my head to look over my shoulder at the beautiful blonde lying beside me. She had a sympathetic smile plastered across her lips, and in her eyes were a million years of pain and suffering. However she set those years aside to be here for me in what she assumed was my time of need. I was very grateful for that, without her and Gerald I probably would be going insane right now. She slipped her arm around my waist and gripped the fabric of my shirt, drawing me closer to her. "Oh, Arnold…." She whimpered and pressed her face into my chest, jeez, she was taking this harder than I was! I had no idea that she would be so sympathetic towards me. However, she did have an understanding of how close my grandparents were to me; after all they did raise me! I spent more than half of my childhood with them; they were like a second set of parents to me… This hurt, a lot…. I still hadn't shed a single tear; however the pain was slowly starting to sink in… She caressed my cheek with her free hand and placed a soft kiss upon my forehead. We didn't speak; just lay there in silence watching each other, sadness filling our eyes.

* * *

The service was beautiful, it was held in a church not too far from the boarding house. The turn up was insane, there were people there that I had never even seen before, and it was a full house. All my friends from school showed up along with their families, giving us their condolences. It made me sick even hearing those words "I'm sorry" and some of them even spoke of how they didn't know what to say…. I didn't want anyone to say anything at all… I wanted to be left alone. I sat beside Helga who held onto my hand tightly through the entire sermon she was the only person who I cared to give me sympathy. Her and Gerald. The preacher spoke about how my grandparents were good people and that they were off in heaven serving and worshipping god, and that we would all reunite one day. I scoffed to myself, how ridiculous. This man had no idea what kind of people they were, for all he knew they were murderous psychopaths…. And heaven? God? What a crock! That stuff didn't exist, on a practical level; I knew they were going to be rotting in the ground soon. Not once did I cry for them through the whole thing. Once it was finished, my mom, dad, Gerald, Helga and Phoebe all piled into the hearse with me and we were soon on our way to the cemetery to watch my grandparents be buried.

A light breeze blew through the trees; the smell of flowers permitted the air. It was a lovely day for a funeral…. We all stood around the two caskets, listening to the man preach once again. Sadness filled the air, the sounds of crying men and women flooded into my ears. I had still not cried. My mom and dad sat on nearby chairs, Kleenexes pressed up against their noses. I felt bad! I did! But I just could not show it… I stood in front of my grandpa's casket with my hand on top of the lid "Well, old man…. You had a good run while it lasted, I guess…." Was all I said before they let each coffin down into the earthly holes one by one. Gerald walked up behind me, followed by Phoebe and Helga. He placed a hand on my back and patted it softly "I'm sorry man…." He said and walked away, probably to go find my parents and give them his condolences. Helga and Phoebe both embraced me at the same time and said their apologies. Why did everyone always say that? 'I'm sorry…' it's not like they killed my grandparents or anything. However, putting myself in their shoes, I'm sure I would have said the same thing, so I took it with a spoon full of sugar and thanked them for the apologies they gave. The two girls, too, walked away to go mingle with the other saddened guests. Anyone passing by who saw me came up and embraced me, apologizing for my loss. I didn't even know half the people who had put their hands all over me, but it was a nice gesture nonetheless; and I'm sure whoever they were had played a major role in my grandparents life once upon a time. I sighed as I watched them throw the first clumps of dirt onto the coffins, guessed this was my time to leave so I turned to walk away. Then I heard a voice. The most angelic voice, it was soft and sweet; like a doves coo on a warm breezy day.

"Arnold, wait!" She called after me. I turned around and found myself in the arms of a beautiful red-headed girl with loose curls and a pretty green dress. After her father had gotten a better job and relocated she moved away and I hadn't seen her since the sixth grade. She changed, a lot, for the better. She was taller, skinnier, and more beautiful than I could remember, she had more freckles. I always liked her freckles…. And now they seemed to almost consume her entire body, they were all over her face, her shoulders, and her legs. They were adorable. I hugged her back, tight. Even just being in this girl's presence was breathtaking. I had almost forgotten where I was and why I had been here. She pulled away and looked up at me, tears flooding her jade orbs "I'm ever so sorry, Arnold… About your grandparents…. When I heard the news I knew I just had to get here as soon as I could… I'm so sorry that I'm late" She cried, I just shook my head and let go of her. All of a sudden I felt cold. Holding Lila was much different then holding Helga, she was thin, yes, but nowhere near as thin as Helga. When I held Lila, I didn't hold the fear of breaking her in half, or crushing her with my grip. She was soft and smooth, not bony and brittle.

"Did you come all this way from New York just for the funeral?"

"Well, actually Arnold… We're moving back… But when I found out I asked Daddy to hurry so we could be here for the funeral"

"That's great Lila, I hope everything works out for you"

"Oh, Arnold…. Is there anything I can do?" Lila pushed herself into my arms once more, the warmth was back and a small blush tinted my cheeks. "No, Lila, its okay… You don't have to do anything" I said softly and she looked up at me with those tears in her eyes again. "Well, alright… But please call me, Arnold… If you need anything at all… We're moving into the Sunset Heights apartments, they're only down the street from you" she said in a coo. She was moving in just down the street from me? That was great to hear… I would definitely be calling her soon. We said our goodbyes and parted ways; everyone was already in the hearse waiting for me. Helga turned to look at me "Was that….. Lila Sawyer?" she asked and I nodded. "What's she doing back here?" Gerald asked. "Apparently she's moving back, down the street from us" I answered curious questions. "Well, that's wonderful!" Phoebe said cheerfully, trying to lighten the darkened moods. I just nodded and stared out the window as we drove off.

The look on Helga's face didn't seem too happy….

* * *

_**There we go! Hope you guys enjoyed!**_

_**R&R! Thanks!**_


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey guys! Sorry it took so long for an update! You know— life and all… Well, this story is finally coming together, and I really know where I want to go with it, so updated will be coming more often I promise! I stayed up till 5am today just writing this chapter! SO you better enjoy it!**

**Here you go! Chapter 8!**

_**[Chapter 8: Just for tonight.]**_

I watched Arnold talk to that perfect little snake. Her with her very lively green eyes, her red hair and porcelain skin; while my eyes had grown dull and my skin a very pasty grayish color… Her breasts were round and perky, not too large and not too small, while I had the chest of a little boy…. I was lucky if I could even fit into an A-cup… I barely had the breasts to even fill a bra; I went without one most days. She was curvy, and I was a twig… Her perfect red curls bounced around her round little face, thick and full of body; and my hair was stringy and falling out. He looked so content to be in her arms, but I couldn't blame him…. She was full of life and warm, I'm sure, and here was I… Almost on my death bed…. How pathetic. She was back for good, I knew it… And she was going to snake Arnold right out from under my nose… She was going to be able to give him the support that I could not… I had to stop her somehow…. Phoebe looked over at me sadly, noticing the hurt in my eyes while Gerald watched obliviously. I had to hold back tears, for I knew that the woman standing off in the distance was much more of a match for my beloved than I. Oh, Arnold…. Why couldn't he see that even though she maybe healthy and perfect still didn't change the fact that I was the one… The one and only one that would love him no matter what. Stupid football head, always the shallow one, never seeing past the appearance. I choked in a sob and Stella wrapped her arms around me, thinking I was crying for Phil and Geordie. When Arnold finally said his good-byes, he joined us in the hearse and we were off to the boarding house where everyone was invited over for dinner and reminiscent stories.

I had hoped with all my heart that Lila would not be there, but maybe I had spoken to soon for in the car following behind us was the perfect little red head riding along with her father. We all got out and met the guests at the door, leading them to the back yard where chairs and tables were set up. Thankfully the other residents of the house took it upon themselves to cook and prepare for the guests since Stella and Miles were just too heartbroken to entertain. Mrs. Johansson had stayed behind, slaving over a hot stove all day because she felt that she owed it to the Shortman's for all they had done for her and her children. Everyone was grateful. We all sat on lawn chairs, drinking sodas and munching on hors d'oeu-vres, reminiscing about what great and funny people Arnold's grandparents were.

"Why I went to elementary school with that ol' coot" an elderly man chortled as he gulped back a glass of tea. "He was always gettin' us into all sorts of trouble, but when Phil got you into trouble he was always there to get you right back out again" he snickered through tear-stained eyes. "Awh Phil, Ol' buddy. I'll be seeing you soon enough" he raised his glass for the group to give cheers. "To Phil!" he called and everyone tapped glasses. I turned to look over my shoulder at Arnold standing at the punch bowl making goo-goo eyes with Li-la. That disgusting cow! I despised her! I quickly gulped down my drink and made my way over to the bowl, pretending to just be thirsty.

"Oh, hey Helga…. I'm glad to see you're getting something down" Arnold said genuinely relieved. I just shrugged my shoulders as Lila came up to me and wrapped her arms around me in a tight embrace.

"It's just ever so nice to see you, Helga…. Arnold's been telling me you're going through a tough time; I just hope you find your way soon. And I'm here for you if you need anything at all."

"Oh, really…. What exactly did he tell you?"

"Well, he said it was just ever so personal, so he didn't go in depth" She said with a warm smile, assuring me that my secret was still safe among our peers.

"Hey, Arnold! I'm really sorry to hear about your grandparents, man…." A voice came from behind Arnold, he turned to see who it was but found himself trapped in a tight embrace. When the hug ended, Arnold gave a soft, yet surprised smile.

"Sid! When did you get back in town?" Arnold asked.

"This morning…. I heard the news and had to make it to the funeral… Man, if there's anything I can do…."

"No, it's okay…. How long are you going to be in town?" Arnold asked, trying to change the subject of his grandparents. Sid smiled understandingly and rubbed the back of his neck absentmindedly.

"Well, I put the band stuff on hold to finish school, so at least till graduation. I'm re-enrolling next semester" Sid said with a small smile. He had been touring with his band for the past two years when they had finally decided to settle down and get an apartment together in Los Angeles. There were four of them; it was Sid, Stinky, and two others who had gone to our school. They had all lived together and worked minimum wage jobs to support themselves. It was rough, but from what I could tell through emails, they all had fun doing it. Struggling musicians, how could you not have fun? Sid noticed Lila, leaning against the punch table with a glass in her hand and he greeted her awkwardly. The two of them had quite some baggage. Lila had dated Stinky on and off since middle school, and after their last official break-up, Lila had gone after Sid as a rebound. Their short-lived relationship however was purely physical and had ended abruptly once stinky found out that his best friend was fucking his ex. After that ordeal, the three were at odds for a while, but eventually all was forgiven and they tried their hardest to move on with their lives.

Eventually Sid turned his attention to me and quickly ran up to hug me, lifting me into his arms and spinning me around. When he set me down he blinked in surprised at my appearance, surely he was grimacing at how emaciated I was.

"Helga! Wow! You look so….. Great!" I knew he was about to say something else, he just didn't want to offend. I turned my attention to Arnold and Lila who were now walking into the house together, probably to show her how comfortable his bed was, I winced in disgust.

"Um, thanks…" I said, distracted. Sid took the glass out of my hand and refilled it with some punch before handing it back to me.

"How have you been, Helga?" he asked trying to get my attention back. I looked over at him and faked a smile.

"You know, same ol' same ol'" I said and handed him a plastic cup with some punch in it. He took it graciously and gave me a genuine smile. He had grown up—A lot. He had grown into his nose and no longer wore his green cap. His tousled hair fell shaggy at shoulder length, and you could barely see his piercing green eyes through his raven locks. He was tall, very tall, and built. His tight black t-shirt clung to his figure, showing off the rock hard ABS he had acquired through a very strict exercise routine. The sleeves choked his large biceps, threatening to rip at any moment. It was time he invested in a larger fitting shirt, although I had a small feeling that he wore two sizes too small to show off how fit he had gotten. It wasn't until now that I had realized what a stud he had actually become, and well… If Arnold could go prancing around with little miss perfect, why couldn't I have myself a little fun too? Alright, Helga… Time to go into flirtatious mode…. Come on, ol' girl, you can do it. I forced a smile upon my lips and set my cup down, watching as he carefully chewed on the ring that resided on the left side of his mouth. I had a strange urge to reach up and suck on it.

"So, if you're not doing anything this weekend….." He began softly, nervously. "But given the circumstances, I understand if you want to be with Arnold in his time of need…" What the hell? He hadn't even asked the question. I sighed softly to myself "Well, I think we can both see that he has Lila for that…" I assured him, urged him to carry on. He flipped his hair out of his face and nodded, moving a bit closer to me.

"Do you maybe wanna hit up Slaussen's? Get some coffee or ice cream or something? Catch up on old times?" He asked, carefully picking his words. Ice cream? Shit… Coffee? Well, I could possibly salvage, if I drank it black. Coffee had little to no calories. "Sure, I can do coffee. I'm on a diet so Ice cream wouldn't be the best" I blurted out, shit. I knew the kind of response he would throw my way.

"_Diet_? Really, Helga? You're stick thin…. I think some ice cream could do you some good" He joked. Like a hornet, his comment stung me… But he didn't know my current situation, so I couldn't hold it against him. Instead I just faked a laugh and nodded, trying to act like the joke was funny instead of hurtful. "Well, how else do you think I maintain this fabulous body?" I retorted with a joke of my own, even though I didn't believe it. Was I flirting? Yes, I believe I was. And it felt good. It felt good to be able to think of someone other than Arnold. My flaxen haired love god. We took our punch and found a spot away from the rest of the guests to chat and have some reminiscent time of our own.

"So, frog boy. How did the whole rock star life hold up for ya'?" I asked and leaned into my chair. Honestly, I felt bad for selfishly indulging in my childhood friend when so many of the other guests were hurting over the fact that their loved ones were no longer with them. I was also silently freaking out at the fact that Arnold and Lila had not come out of that house yet… What on earth were they doing in there? My mind danced around so many scenarios that I just didn't want to picture or think about… I was so wrapped up in my concerns that I didn't hear Sid going on about the crazy events that took place when he was living in LA. What snapped me back was the fact that he had started poking me in the side, trying to get my attention back.

"Hello? Helga, are you in there?" he joked and I smacked his hand away, chuckling slightly. "Yeah, yeah, sorry frog boy, my mind was…. Somewhere else" I said softly. "I can see that" he laughed slightly and shook his head. "Say it again" I said with a small smile, my attention now on him but he shook his head. "Nah, we'll save it for this weekend. Wanna go find Arnold and Lila?" he asked, almost as if he read my thoughts. I nodded "Maybe we should…. See how the ol' football head is holding up" I said and stood to my feet. "Oh, I'm sure he's up alright" Sid joked. That one I didn't find funny in the slightest but I forced a nervous chuckle. Once again, Sid didn't know what was going on so I tried not to hold anything against him.

We made our way back into the boarding house and searched for the two love birds till we finally decided to go up to Arnold's room. We stood outside the door, I was nervous. I didn't want to barge in on the two doing my worst nightmare. "I don't think we should—"

"Oh, come on, Helga…. You really think they'd be bumpin' uglies with a get together going on downstairs?" Sid reassured me and I nodded. He was right though, Arnold had way more class than that. And as much as I did not want to admit it, Lila did too. Before knocking or just waltzing right on in to what was also my room, I placed my ear against the door; I could hear a light moaning. It was Arnold, I gulped…. It didn't sound sexual, it sounded sad…. Was he…. Crying? My heart broke in half.

"Ah, fuck it!" Sid grew tired of waiting and barged right on in, I attempted to stop him but my attempts were in vain. "No wait-!" I tried to pull him back but we both fell though the door. Arnold, who sitting upon his bed shot his head up to look at the two intruders; I stood up quickly, glancing around the room. Lila was nowhere in sight and I noticed the blonde haired angel wipe at his eyes frantically and straighten himself up. He…. Was crying! I knew it! Instinctively I ran over to him and threw my arms around him. Sid walked up and joined in the embrace for just a moment before pulling away. "Arnold… Were you crying, man?" he asked concerned. Arnold shook his head "No, I was just… Um…" He couldn't even finish his sentence before falling to the ground with tears pouring down his cheeks. Seeing him cry… The boy who righted all wrongs, the boy with sunshine filled life and his head in the clouds…. My beautiful dreamer…. Seeing him cry was like a serrated dagger ripping right through my black heart. I fell to the ground beside him and cradled his cheeks in my hands, forcing him to look up at me "Arnold… Where is Lila? Why are you alone? You shouldn't be…." I asked softly. As much as I hated the fact that he and Lila spent time together, I would rather that then him suffer by himself.

"She left" was all he said, but I didn't question as to why, instead I just held him tightly, looking towards Sid. Arnold was a wreck…. An absolute wreck and I knew he didn't want anyone to see him this way. I let go of him and walked Sid to the door. "I think it's best if you get going…." I whispered, and he nodded completely understanding. "Yeah, that might be for the best… Take care of him… I'll see you this weekend?" he asked, hopeful. "Yes, just shoot me a text" I assured him—he handed me his phone and I programmed my number in. "See ya' Helga" he whispered and leaned down, pressing a soft kiss on my cheek before heading down the stairs. I placed my hand on the spot he had kissed, blushing deeply. I stood there for a moment, a goofy look plastered across my face before realizing the severe predicament Arnold was in. I quickly shut and locked the door to ensure no more unwanted visitors and ran over to Arnold, helping him up onto the bed. He was crying softly, trying his hardest not to let me see. But it was about time he finally let it all out! He needed a good cry, he hadn't cried since he found them dead in their bed… It was past due…

"Arnold…. It's okay to cry…." I said softly and hugged him tightly once again. He needed me…. He needed me badly, and I knew I was the only person who could give him the comfort that he needed. He wrapped his arms around my frail waist and squeezed tightly, crying until he was just too exhausted to cry any longer. I stroked his blonde hair, twirling my fingers around his golden locks. My head snapped up when I heard a knock on the door. I unlocked and opened it to see Miles standing on the other side. "I just wanted to see where you and Arnold were, is he in there with you?" He whispered. I turned to look over my shoulder at the emotional blonde laying on the bed then back to Miles. I slid out of the room to speak with him. "Yes, he's lying down… He finally had himself a good cry…" I said sadly. Before I could realize, Miles scooped me up into a tight hug. "I'm so glad you're here, Helga… He needs you right now more than ever…." He choked back a sob. My heart shattered, I couldn't believe this grown man could be so vulnerable. Well, it was his parents…. I couldn't blame him. I hugged him back tightly. "Should I see if he's alright?" Miles let me go and tried looking through the crack in the door, but I stopped him. "Honestly, Mr. Shortman…. I don't think he'd want you to see how vulnerable he is right now…." I rubbed the back of my neck hesitantly. Miles nodded, understanding and stepped back. "Is Mrs. Shortman holding up alright?" I asked. "Yes, everyone left so we're going to just call it a night…. It's been a rough week…"

"If there's anything I can do…."

"No, Helga… You've done enough just by sticking by us through our time of need"

"It's the least I could do for all you've done for me…."

"Alright, Helga… Get some rest will you?" Miles patted the top of my head before turning to walk down the steps "Good night—Oh, and Helga?"

"Yes?"

"It's Miles and Stella" He said with a small smile and walked off. I got a warm fuzzy feeling in the pit of my stomach every time I had heartfelt moments between Arnold's parents. I stood at the top of the stairs, watching till he was out of sight.

* * *

I walked back into Arnold's room and locked the door again to find him sitting on the floor beside his bed. He was looking through a brown book that held photos in it; he had a sad smile on his face. I sat beside him and looked over his shoulder at the photo album, he turned it towards me. "This one is when Grandpa took Gerald and I camping, he was trying to teach us how to survive in the wild" He pointed towards a photo of the three of them standing in the woods next to the Packard. I chuckled softly "I remember that day…. We ran into you guys, Bob was on his high-tech camping gear kick" I giggled and turned the page. We came across a picture of the two of us standing next to a large sand castle with a 'winner' ribbon sticking out the top. I blushed softly at the look I was giving Arnold in the picture. "Remember the beach, Helga?"

"How could I forget? You and that little _Summer_ chick had a really cozy time" I teased and ruffled his hair.

"Yeah…. Man, if you hadn't shown me what a creep she was…." He trailed off, thinking back on that time on the beach. How could I not have warned the one I love of the female wiles? "Hey, Helga? Why did you try so hard to sabotage us? I know it's not because you knew she was bad from the beginning…." He turned his head to face me. I gulped nervously, I couldn't tell him it was because I love him…. "Well, Arnold… Because, no matter how much I didn't want to admit it, you were one of my closest friends, and I didn't want you getting hurt… She was just bad news from the beginning" I said with a smile. He smiled back at me and then turned the page to a picture of him standing there upset with paint and feathers on his rear. I laughed "I remember that day, you spilled paint on me! I was so angry!" I punched his arm playfully. He glared in my direction "Hey! You turned me into birdman!" he defended in a laugh. "I remember when I went home, grandpa tried to tell me that you had done it because you had a crush on me! Ha! What a joker huh?" He elbowed me in the side softly. I laughed nervously "Heh…Heh…. Yeah, crazy old coot" I blushed and quickly turned the page. There was a picture of the gang and his grandma dressed in camouflage standing outside the boarding house. We laughed about the time we got stuck in the subway and Geordie came and rescued us. "Criminey… For an elderly woman, she sure was adventurous!" I laughed.

We went through old photos and remembered back on our grade school years. Arnold told me crazy stories about him and his grandparents. About the time when Grandpa Phil thought he would die on his 81st birthday, but it turned out that the curse meant 91. Just talking about death set Arnold off into another crying spell. I took the book from his hand and set it aside, pulling him into another embrace. On the one hand, I was glad to see him finally mourning the loss of his grandparents, but on the other hand, it broke my heart to see him so distraught. I wanted more than anything to just grab his beautiful face and plant sweet kisses all over it, but I held back, save for unwanted confusions. Once the tears stopped, he pulled away, only stopping a few inches from my face. I could see the pain and anger behind those green eyes of his, but I still blushed at the closeness. I wiped his cheeks dry and gave him a weak, yet comforting smile. My name was all he could mutter before leaning in and placing his lips against mine tenderly. My eyes lingered open, shocked, confused, excited, ten thousand emotions all flooding me at once. The kiss didn't last long, for he quickly pulled away, surprised at himself. He just stared at me a moment, he seemed ashamed of himself for acting the way he did. Or was he ashamed of me? Either way, I didn't care. I had tasted the sweet nectar of his lips, and I wanted more.

* * *

"Helga, I'm sorry… I shouldn't have—" he began to say but the lust for him took over and I cut him off with a kiss of my own.

He didn't fight it, no… Instead he welcomed my mouth with his own hungry lips; suddenly he seemed full of energy and affection. All those years I had spent dreaming and fantasizing about this moment had finally come true, and I was filled with utter bliss. I just wished this had happened under better circumstances. See, as much as I wanted this moment to be real and full of love—something in the back of my mind told me it was just 'heat of the moment.' Still, I didn't care… I wanted it to last, I wanted him… I wanted all of him.

Our kiss grew more passionate with every passing second, time no longer ticked on; the world seemed to stop spinning. I began to melt into his touch, becoming putty in his masculine hands, which seemed to find their way up to my face, holding me in place firmly. His tongue found its way into my mouth eagerly, dancing around my moist cavity. I welcomed it lovingly and wrestled his soft organ with my own. I fell backwards onto the floor, not breaking the kiss, and he pushed the pictures and album away from our bodies as he hovered over me, careful not to place too much of his weight on top of me. His hands wandered down my body and traced the bones in my hips. He pulled his lips from mine and stared into my eyes for a moment. I had never seen his green orbs so empty. This caused a bit of uneasiness for me… But I didn't want to stop; I needed him to keep going. He slowly slid his hand up my hip and inched his way under my blouse. I arched my back and breathed in deeply, closing my eyes. Feeling his hands on my body sent me into a blissful ecstasy and my teeth caught my lower lip, chewing fiercely. He slid his hand farther up my stomaching, just stopping shy of my ribcage. I just wanted his hand to wander up higher. He smirked wickedly at me once I opened my eyes, I blushed again "…What?" I asked nervously.

"You aren't wearing a bra…" he stated obviously, causing me to blush further. Just the way he said it was so… Sexy… I just wanted him to touch me already!

I grabbed his wrist and guided his hand upward; quivering as his fingers just lightly grazed my hardened buds. He placed his hand on the center of my chest between my breasts as he leaned down and smashed his lips against mine once again. His hand left from under my shirt and found its way around to the small of my back. He sat up, bringing me with him, breaking the kiss for a few moments "Should we move to the bed?" he questioned, caressing my back smoothly. I nodded sheepishly and he slid his free hand down to the curve of my rear, lifting me up and then shoving me down onto the bed a little roughly, coming down on top of me. He placed his hand on my thigh and lifted it up, placing it against his side; he caressed it softly as he began to kiss me passionately once more.

Things started heating up very quickly; I pressed my body against his, hands wandering everywhere. His lips left mine and began trailing a soft line down to my jaw line, then to my neck, then to my protruding collarbone. He pulled away and smirked down at me as he began unbuttoning my blouse, revealing one of my breasts and then the other. I was extremely self conscious about my body, all skin and bones… But with Arnold, it didn't seem to matter; he seemed to appreciate every inch of me no matter my size. He slid the blouse from my body and tossed it to the ground, studying my bare chest with a deep hunger in his eyes. "What's the matter?" I asked sheepishly after a long moment of silence and wandering eyes. He just chuckled and shook his head "Nothing, Helga…. Are you sure this is okay?" he asked, tracing the rim of my slacks. I nodded eagerly, my cheeks red hot with anticipation; I pushed my hips up into his touch, urging him to proceed. He smiled softly and leaned back into me, kissing my chest, soon finding one of my erect buds with his lips. He licked and sucked, every now and again grazing with his teeth. His actions made me shudder with pleasure. God, I wanted him more than anything. He grinded his hips into mine, I could feel the organ between his legs rising to the occasion. I wanted to reach down and touch it through his pants, but I was nervous… This was my first time… But I took a chance, I wanted this… I needed this! I could do this! I slid my slender fingers down his body as he kissed his way back up to my neck. My hand found the erection beneath his pants and began to rub it gently, he groaned into my throat. I could tell he wanted this just as much as I did.

He unbuttoned my slacks and tugged them down; I slipped out of them and kicked them to the ground. His hand found its way between my thighs and stroked me softly through my underwear. The lace grazing up against my tender flesh drove me insane, I wanted this… "Arnold…." I groaned and arched my back in pleasure. I unbuttoned his pants and he inched out of them, they would soon meet the clothes in the pile on the floor. The only thing keeping us from becoming one was the thin fabric of his boxers and the lace of my pink underwear. He slid the crotch of my underwear to the side and placed his thumb against the pulsing bud between my thighs causing me to gasp in uncontrollable pleasure. I wanted him! I needed him! A small whimper escaped my lips as he slid his middle finger slowly inside my body. I couldn't believe this was happening—I couldn't believe I was finally going to be with the man I had so pined over for most of my childhood. He was perfect, this moment was perfect, nothing mattered… All the pain I had ever felt had seemed to wash away the minute he touched my sacred area…. The second he placed his delightful lips against mine. I couldn't be happier…

Once we were completely bare and our underwear was no longer hugging our bodies, Arnold placed a soft kiss upon my lips and then looked into my eyes. "Helga…." He whispered softly into my ear, grinding his hips into mine. He was prodding at my entrance, begging to be let in, but lingering. "Are you absolutely sure this is okay?" he groaned in anticipation, just waiting for me to give the go ahead. I threw my arms around his neck and pushed my hips against his, not wanting to wait any longer. "Yes, Arnold… Yes, it's okay…." I moaned almost desperately. He slid his hands down to my hips and gripped them tightly, and with an exhale of his breath he thrust himself inside of me.

I saw fireworks that night; I felt explosions of pleasure. It was like an angelic overture ringing in my ears, bursts of beautiful colors flooded my mind; sweet, intoxicating smells infested my nostrils. I was in a state of euphoria; I was on a high that I never wanted to come down from. Arnold, my love… My angel, my everything. It was all I had ever wanted; I don't think that anything could ever bring me down again. The way his body felt against mine, the way we moved in rhythm with each other, the way he made my insides burn. I had finally become one with the love of my life. Did this mean that he loved me too? I could only hope. And now he lay beside me, sleeping soundly. His breathing was heavy and peaceful; he was in a deep sleep. Surely this is the best he'd slept all week. I caressed his hair softly and kissed him on the cheek before wrapping my arm around his waist and dozing off into a slumber of my own.

This was perfect….

**_He_** was perfect….

* * *

**Ooooooh, whats gunna happen next? **

**Well, there you go! Chapter 8! I really hope you guys enjoyed! This was the first intimate scene I've ever written, so go easy on me, and I hope it didn't suck! I was a bit skeptical about writing it, so bear with me!**

**Give me reviews, let me know if you want more passion between our blonde duo :D Ask and you shall receive!**

**RATE AND REVIEW! KTHANKSBAI!**

**Till next time my beloved readers! **


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